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morbidly obese newbie looking for support

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  • morbidly obese newbie looking for support

    Hi all,

    My name is Jon and I'm 34 years old and weigh 380 pounds. I live my life at a relatively young age petrified that any day can be my last. That fear is a bit melodramatic because though diabetic I'm moderately okay - blood sugar is relatively sane and I can complete a CrossFit class, however modified, and not die. So I likely won't drop dead today. But nonetheless I'm petrified.

    I've done some reading on paleo as a result of starting CrossFit 3 months ago. I purchased PB this morning and am a barely a few pages in.

    I'm very confident that primal living is what I need to be doing. I'm desperately seeking the confidence that firstly I can do this. Every other attempt at lifestyle change has failed at a cost of an additional 20-50 pounds. I sincerely lack the faith in myself to see this through. Secondly I need to believe that it's not too late. That intense fear clouds every decision I make. The feeling that I need to give up and get stapled or just have myself committee weighs on me almost more than my excess fat.

    I apologize for rambling. I'm ordinarily a very composed guy with a highly responsible job and opening up like this isn't natural for me but I need a community and I'm hoping I found the right place.


  • #2
    Hello Jon, and welcome. I wish you the best of luck.

    My recommendation would be to read the book (and Mark's blog), and just do as much as you can do in line with those recommendations - don't get too caught up in the experimental hacks and sometimes wild theories which lurk in the forums! One step at a time, just do as much as you can do, and stick with it - give it time. Persistence and progress, not perfection is what matters, or as Mark says, "don't let the perfect be the enemy of the good".
    I have the simplest tastes. I am always satisfied with the best.

    Oscar Wilde


    • #3
      hi Jon,
      Great you found this site, I have found primal the most relaxing and easy way to loose weight and, most important, be healthier .
      Good luck discovering a great new lifestyle


      • #4
        Lots of great people here. Take 1 day at a time. Little victories add up to big ones.
        Starting Weight 235 - Dec 1, 2010
        Started Primal Mid January 2011
        Current Weight 183
        Goal 160

        Get Outside Already!


        • #5
          Sending encouragement to you. I'd like to suggest in addition to PB you also read Dr. Bernstein, "The Diabetes Solution." The PB will show you the quality and anti-inflammitory foods and the other will teach you to eat to your meter. Initially you will use a lot of test strips but as you learn how your body responds to foods testing will be less nessesary. I also encourage you to visit Jenny Ruhl's site Bloodsugar 101. Please remember each person is different and the more you educate yourself the better you can take care of you.


          • #6
            Welcome! This is a great place to be and there is alot of encouragement here. In addition to the other readings I would add William Davis' Wheat Belly. Remember this is a journey and it will not happen overnight. Enjoy the journey, seek out others to travel with you and laugh often. All will be well
            You know all those things you wanted to do: You should go do them.

            Age 48
            height 5'3
            SW 215 lbs
            CW 180 lbs (whole foods/primal eating)
            LW 172 lbs
            GW 125ish lbs


            • #7
              Welcome, Jon. I think you will be happy with PB. Stick with what you see in Mark's book until you are very comfortable with your new lifestyle and getting results. And note that he's very low-key, a bad eating day isn't a catastrophe, you just get right and go forward.

              Given your heavy starting weight, I would strongly encourage you to initially focus your exercise on walking. Walking is great exercise for us "way overweights" and will help a lot in getting you prepared to handle the more strenuous stuff, like CrossFit. Try to find alternative walking paths so you can gradually extend the distance you cover, and don't be surprised if you can't do much to start with, just stick to it and when you walk X minutes you will find you are steadily covering more distance.

              Hopefully your family/friends will provide positive support for your efforts, this can make life a lot easier as you go forward.
              Good luck happens when opportunity meets preparation. You've got the opportunity in hand, now go for it and don't get down on yourself as you go forward if your results aren't immediate. Track yourself over time and don't panic if your scale doesn't move down every time you weigh--I suggest weighing only 1 time per week to avoid the "downer" you can get from daily fluctuations. Get a tape measure and check your measurements also, you will find some good stuff happening there too.
              The Buck stops here. I am responsible for my past and my future. So for today: I choose to be happy. I will seek wisdom. I will be a servant to others. I will greet this day with a forgiving spirit.


              • #8
                hi Jon and welcome!
                I'm so pleased for you that you have found your way here. I also recommend reading Mark's book and Wheat Belly by William Davis was a real eye opener!

                I'm a bit of a planner so spent a few days figuring out what i needed to do before i jumped in. I set a date and started. The first few days were quite tricky, as my body was screaming out for sugary snacks. After a few days i was AMAZED at how much more under control my appetite and hunger pains were. My advice would be to base each meal around a piece of meat/fish/eggs and a big pile of veggies.

                You can do this, it most definitely isn't too late. All the very best, let me know if i can help with anythng


                • #9
                  Thanks everyone for the replies. I'm impressed and excited by how active this community is.

                  I was wondering if anyone could share some sample meal days. I'm far enough through PB and have also read Robb Wolf's book that I have a pretty good feeling for what is and what is not paleo/primal. But what I don't yet have is a really good vision for what that "looks like" in the life of someone with a 60-70 hour a week job with great unpredictability. I've read all the paleo sites (PaleOMG, Paleo Table, etc.) with all of their delicious looking but seemingly very complicated recipes that I couldn't imagine myself finding the time to prep and cook more than once a week and many weeks not even that. For now I'm just focusing on pan frying up a steak and throwing it on a plate with a full bag of steam-in-bag broccoli but no matter how much of a steak lover I am there's only so many ribeyes I week I can stomach. Am I right though in assuming though for a time restricted person just rotating through proteins and vegetables is in a choose one from column A and one from column B fashion is the way to do this?



                  • #10
                    Pretty much, you're on the right track. I normally cook my meat in a pan on medium/low heat until it's done enough and then put my veggies in to cook while I eat the meat. Then you've got easy-to-eat foods like apples, avocado, eggs (boiled, quick fry, etc.), depending on whether you want to play with ketosis or not. Don't forget the liver and seafood for a good dose of body-repairing micronutrients. I use free range chicken liver and canned oysters, mackerel, etc. Depending on your price range and local availability, your menu will vary. Shoot for variety, though. I try to eat a different animal every day.

                    Plug your foods into a nutrition calculator like fitday to see is you met all of your nutrients for the day (or the week, it all evens out so don't freak out if your thiamin is low one day. Have some bacon to bring it up the next.).
                    Last edited by Knifegill; 12-23-2012, 07:21 PM.
                    Crohn's, doing SCD


                    • #11
                      Take a deep breath and relax. Don't let all the complicated recipes and offshoot theories derail you. It just isn't that complex. This ain't rocket science (at least, it doesn't have to be). Meat, fish, eggs, veggies, fruits and a little nuts/seeds. Repeat. Start off simple and as you get used to this way of eating you can get fancier with the food--if you want. Also-- it's not JUST about the food. It's sleep, play, exercise, stress.
                      Good luck and congrats. I think you've finally found what you are looking for.


                      • #12
                        You ask what the WOE looks like for someone who works 60-70hrs a week?
                        Here's a few typical days of mine:

                        bulletproof coffee (google this, it may or may not appeal to/work for you. It works for me)
                        late lunch at either chipotle. (Carnitas salad w/lots of fresh tomatoes & guac, sour cream/cheese if you tolerate dairy, skip the sugary dressing) or five guys (two patty regular burger, no bun, extra: lettuce, tomato, grilled onion, mushrooms, bell pepper, jalapeņos & pickles -it ends up being like a burger salad)
                        Dinner: pastured chicken (with skin & bones... bake a bunch at once, make sure the skin is crispy and delicious and *NOM* - save the bones in the freezer to make stock), roasted brussels sprouts (or other veg), sweet potato.
                        maybe a handful of raw almonds while cooking, some tea & 87%dark chocolate after dinner, etc.

                        Weekday 2
                        Leftover homemade (w/garlic & onion in the mix) grass-fed burger in cabbage wrap w/bacon, onion, tomato, etc.
                        skip lunch
                        Smoothie w/coconut milk & frozen berries (post workout)
                        Leftover brisket (I'll make a 3+lb grass fed brisket & eat throughout the week), kale salad w/ cucumber, olives & tomatoes, homemade dressing. Pineapple spears (go easy, these are way sweet)

                        Weekday 3:
                        bulletproof coffee
                        Grass-fed beef shank stew (crockpot leftovers), hard boiled egg(s) w/sea salt
                        herb crusted wild salmon, steamed veggies w/ grass-fed butter, spinach salad, bubbly water w/unsweetened cranberry (just a splash), pear slices & raw grass-fed cheese.

                        Bacon, cabbage/carrot/onion sauteed in bacon grease, eggs fried in bacon grease, avocado w/ kimchi, sweeteet potato w/grass-fed butter, coffee w/ grass-fed heavy cream, tea.
                        leftovers -whatever needs to be eaten (brisket, chicken, stew, etc.)
                        Snack on coconut flakes (unsweetened), raw nuts, fruit, veg.

                        Think simple... meat and veg w/adequate healthy fat, sometimes fruit or sweet potatoes. Eat when you're hungry, don't eat when you're not. Cook big batches of protein so you have planned leftovers and "emergency" protein.
                        I keep primal trail mix (raw seeds/nuts, unsweetened dried fruit, unsweetened flaked coconut, possibly chopped up dark chocolate, chopped up and thrown in a zip-top bag), grass-fed jerky/paleo kits/primal pacs, lara bars, cans of tuna/sardines, some dark chocolate, etc. In my desk at work in case I get hungry.
                        Hard boiled eggs and avocados are great things to keep around as well, and I feel fine having them out of the fridge for a day or two.

                        As for working out, I bike, run stairs, play tennis, swim, take dance class, etc. whenever time permits... I try to keep the pool/dance studio schedules handy, so if I have free time, I can see what's available... Stairs, tennis courts, and places to bike are available 24/7. Sometimes we'll hit some bodyweight/exercise ball stuff while dinner is cooking.
                        If you're doing activities where you'd normally drink sports drinks or "eat" gels, go for water + bananas.
                        Last edited by PrimalMama; 12-24-2012, 09:20 AM. Reason: to fix things that happened when I posted from my phone


                        • #13
                          Hey Jon, welcome to the community.

                          I know, and understand, that feeling of desperation you've described. I honestly thought that I was "fated" to swell up like a balloon (every single member of my blood family is huge and diabetic), and it was coming true for a while.

                          My best advice is to relax (go for walks, spend a few hours in the dimness of some candles, practice meditation, read, etc) and to eat a lot of meat. Meat is wonderful and delicious and filling.

                          Some sample meals for me:
                          Breakfast- Coffee, half a teaspoon of sugar, heavy cream.
                          Breakfast Alt- Coffee, pepperoni, cheese.

                          Lunch- Pork chop cooked in butter, more coffee.
                          Lunch Alt- Deli meats and cheese, plus coffee.

                          Dinner- Steak and a bit of potato.
                          Dinner Alt- Chicken soup made in a crockpot. (Chicken breast, carrots, celery, scallions, and some other veggies that I happen to have on hand)
                          Dinner Alt- Chili made in a crockpot. (Stew meat, onion, peppers, tomatoes, and a filler (I'll be using sweet potato for this))

                          Dessert- Coffee.
                          Dessert Alt- Eggnog.
                          Dessert Alt 2- Greek yogurt.
                          The Age of Strife- My continuing journey to a happier, healthier, more natural lifestyle.


                          • #14
                            Glad to meet you! I second the advice here to stick closely to the book, and be sure to read, and reread it, as often as necessary. That, and check out Quelsen's journal. I do not "know" him very well on the MDA, as it were, but I do know he had a massive amount of weight to lose, more than you. I would say "good luck", but luck has nothing to do with this - just good info and some old fashioned hard work, and you will get where you are going.

                            Merry Christmas!
                            I have a mantra that I have spouted for years... "If I eat right, I feel right. If I feel right, I exercise right. If I exercise right, I think right. If I think right, I eat right..." Phil-SC


                            • #15
                              Keep it up. I'm obese and find that losing weight on PB is much, MUCH easier than any other method and I know I'm also getting enough protein to maintain and even build muscle while losing weight- that's the holy grail, for me.
                              High Weight: 225
                              Weight at start of Primal: 189
                              Current Weight: 174
                              Goal Weight: 130

                              Primal Start Date: 11/26/2012