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The Bedrock Chronicle - Pebbles67

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  • Thinking of you tonight. I hope 2017 brings you much happiness and good health!

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    • Happy New Year, Paula! It will be good, you'll see!
      My journal - The Walrus: http://www.marksdailyapple.com/forum/thread108103.html

      Be silly, be honest, be kind. ~ Ralph Waldo Emerson

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      • Wishing you much peace and happiness in 2017. I may not comment much, but do read. You do deserve happiness and joy.
        My musings

        The old stuff

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        • Happy New Year!

          Goodbye and good riddance 2016. Last year was the culmination of 5 very painful years in my life. It started with losing my Mother in 2011, finding myself again and realizing that I was in a bad marriage, confusion about what to do, very poor decision-making, leaving to start a new life and surviving the consequences of that decision.

          This has been one of the hardest holiday seasons in a long time and a totally new experience for my entire family. That said, Christmas Day with the boys was great if a little awkward. It felt a little like we were trying too hard. Our New Year's Eve celebration was great. I believe they are getting the idea that they can enjoy their time with both of their parents even though it's separate and different. I am very proud of my successful survival of the holidays. I took good emotional and physical care of myself and I accomplished some organizational tasks I wanted to do this week while on vacation.

          The theme for 2017 is being at peace and loving myself. Someone on another website I visit asked us to think about our greatest accomplishment of 2016. It is a hard thing to realize that my greatest accomplishment was to separate from my husband and begin to create a new life, but that is the truth. Even though it happened in the hardest way possible, the longer I am on my own I realize it was the right thing to do. I believe that all of us will be fine in the end. Our divorce should be finalized early this year.

          Health-wise I am doing amazingly well. Yes, today at weigh in I will show a net gain for the holiday season, but twice in the last two weeks I hit a new low weight. On Christmas Eve I hit 238.4 and on New Year's Eve I hit 238.3. Unfortunately due to eating whatever I wanted on New Year's Day and at a football game party last night (Go Packers!) I'm up 5 pounds today. My body loves the current plan I'm on which includes probably a hundred grams of carbs per day. In the new year my goal is to rein in the carbs to Primal approved items. because I do believe in clean eating.

          Instead of resolutions, I made a vision board of my goals for 2017. It was an extremely fun and cathartic exercise. I hope to be able to upload that a picture of it on this post. Photo uploads have been hit-or-miss for me lately.
          Last edited by Pebbles67; 01-02-2017, 01:19 PM.
          We have Moved! Join us at www.primalforums.com

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          • The best I could do is a link to my 2017 vision board. The image was too large to upload.

            https://goo.gl/photos/2BMGoxr3mMKJBjEt6
            We have Moved! Join us at www.primalforums.com

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            • I love the vision board!
              Last edited by Pedidoc; 01-05-2017, 07:37 PM.
              Female 55
              Starting wt: 198, Goal: 135, Current with PB: 165
              Started at a size 16 down to loose 10

              With PB my asthma has improved, low back pain is gone, & I've got more energy

              My Primal Journal: http://www.marksdailyapple.com/forum/thread60175.html

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              • I have never had a vision board. I remember another journaler who had one. I guess we have lost her with the change and all but she was an in and out person. She was a pastry chef at a high class joint.

                I love your board and now have an idea of what a vision board is. I did notice the Free spot on your board. That is how I felt when I finally let go myself.

                Glad you made it through the holidays with and without your sons. Best wishes for a successful 2017.
                Female back to the basics: 5-2017
                CW: 2017: 150
                GW: 130 a dream, I know
                Muscle soreness surrounding Neck, Thyroid and Rosacea issues.

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                • Well done on making your vision board.
                  My first journal - http://forum.marksdailyapple.com/for...mal-highlights

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                  • Happy New Year P...

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                    • Hi Pebbles, I apologize for being gone for so long. 2016 was horrible for me too, and I have 40 gained lbs to prove it! Sad to hear about your pending divorce, but also happy for you to start a new life where you honor yourself! That is fantastic. You will come to love being on your own, and loneliness will fade. Especially if you find some new friends and spend some time getting to know them. Maybe some of the ladies at WW? So glad to read about your most recent acting experience, how fun! May 2017 be a great year for all of us. Hugs
                      This is my journal page!
                      http://www.marksdailyapple.com/forum/thread100547.html

                      My life's work: www.questtheawakening.com

                      "Sometimes you get shown the light in the strangest of places if you look at it right!" The Grateful Dead

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                      • Thanks for the interest in the vision board. This year I wanted to reflect goals I am hoping to reach rather than my usual strict resolutions that once broken are thrown out.

                        My gain at WW this past Monday was 6 lbs, but I knew the scale was reflecting water weight. I had been 8 lbs thinner the Sat 2 days earlier. It took 3 days to lose the water weight. So I should show a loss of 6 plus a bit more Monday.
                        We have Moved! Join us at www.primalforums.com

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                        • It is Monday and I am feeling amazing. WW Weigh in tonight at 5:30. I predict I will show a 9 lb loss which will include 6 lbs of water weight from the holidays plus about three new pounds. Edit: Lost 8.4 bringing my grand total to 18.4 lbs on WW since 11/14 (8 wks). I have lost 30 lbs on my home scale since my August 28th high of 268.

                          The word for the day is Hope. I have it and I feel it.

                          I had originally set my goal to lose 5 lbs per month. That would bring me back to Onederland by my 50th birthday next August 25th. Today I set a 2 lb per week dream goal that will actually get me to my ultimate goal of 175 or less by my birthday. That would allow me to get WW lifetime and stop paying by my WW anniversary. Achieving either goal would be Awesome!

                          Tonight I will have a new experience in the theater. I am on the audition committee for the next show at the Coach House, "The Enchanted Cottage" Being on the other side of the table should be interesting. Bringing my best poker face. My next audition will be "Pride and Prejudice" in April.
                          Last edited by Pebbles67; 01-09-2017, 06:49 PM. Reason: After weigh in edit
                          We have Moved! Join us at www.primalforums.com

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                          • I have been thinking a lot about the old MDA (2010-2014). It was once a hopping place with tons of support and daily interaction. We laughed so hard, we cried.
                            There are people I miss deeply. Naiad Knight, Canio6, Jenn26point2, Patrick, Geostump, just to name a few. Luckily, I still have some of them through FB and email. It is lovely to watch their lives unfold. (Thinking of NKs baby boy.) Last night Jenn popped up on FB messenger. It was so great to talk to her again.

                            This leads me to other thoughts I am no longer Primal at least in my eating. I thought I would begin to clean up the carbs in the new year, but I truly have little desire to do so. I am enjoying all the food and I am losing weight. Yes, I know I could follow something like the perfect health diet, be Primal and have my carbs while still counting WW points. The thought of it causes fear. I never want to go back to that crazed binger again. So why am I here if I am not following the lifestyle?

                            Other thoughts. I miss my old journal and my old reputation here. I had a journal that numbered over 1000 pages of experimentation, advice and support for me and from me. There were pictures of my theater experiences and the new life I was living due to better health. I was a big loser, someone who showed what the Primal life could do. I looked forward to having my story on the blog some day. Sadly, that all ended as my marriage fell apart. Getting healthy and feeling confident highlighted all that was wrong in my life. My ex began to use MDA to punish me. First he blamed my MDA friends for the change in me, for encouraging me towards bad things. (My bad choices were my own.) He later forced me to reveal on here that I had cheated on him in order to keep my journal. Then just a few months later insisted that I delete the journal and leave MDA. On my last day, I said goodbye and a few friends indicated they felt I was being controlled and forced to leave (True) He didn't like that and the fact that I didn't defend him, so he came on here and attacked my friends in my journal and their own journals. I was so ashamed. Remembering that time still fills me with shame.

                            I was very hopeful when I returned after a year away. It was my first act of rebellion against him after I decided I was finally done. But MDA is not the same. sometimes it just reminds me of all the pain I went through, of all that has been lost.

                            I don't know where I am going with this, Just filled with regret today. Not sad, just pensive. Leaving? Probably not, but I feel I have no purpose here. Although I am loosening up, this journal will never be a safe place to share certain things. Even after my divorce, I will not be able to gush about a new relationship for example. Ack! I need to take some PMS meds. LOL
                            We have Moved! Join us at www.primalforums.com

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                            • Funny, I was thinking along the same lines - I've been here a long time and so many people have come and gone, many of them people I really cared about and would like to be in touch with. I was recalling them yesterday...I guess it is the New Year that brings out these thoughts. And yeah, I often felt like the popular girl at school, or at one of them - somebody that people wanted to hang with. Yep, I'll admit that. One kinda cool thing about forums is that one can connect with others on the subjects you have in common, and the rest doesn't really matter. So I can be really good internet friends with someone who would not really be interested in me IRL. I miss Sabine, David, Coll, Pam, and all those you mention, and a lot more. The fact that I am feeling a bit blue myself doesn't help these thoughts. But honestly, I have shared more here than I have with my RL friends, although I have kept a few things back. I am glad to have this place anyway - I'm a veteran of several forums, as most of us are, and I've never stuck with one as long as this, nor have I shared as much. So I'll be hanging around and I hope you will too. I was so happy when you returned, and hearing of your struggles and triumphs is a great help to me.
                              My journal - The Walrus: http://www.marksdailyapple.com/forum/thread108103.html

                              Be silly, be honest, be kind. ~ Ralph Waldo Emerson

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                              • I'm glad I am not the only one who enjoyed being popular .
                                We have Moved! Join us at www.primalforums.com

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