the purple prose of petunia pettigrew

[bloodorchid]

okay the basics;
i'm 30
i'm a girl
i have pcos
i have a rod in my spine
i'm a neurotic

the purpose;
get no pcos
stay forever young
reclaim some sanity
get a great ass

current weight - NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS
goal weight - a hot ass weight

so i made this tonight Local Forage: RECIPE: Coconut Milk Custard the custard pic looks custardy and delicious. it's not. it's a lie. the recipe results in a big brown soggy sweet hunk of egg that broke my heart right after it broke my tastebuds. and i was sad. that didn't stop the dogs from prancing around my feet hoping i'd drop the plate. they're weird, those dogs. they eat whatever i give them from cheese to fruit to veggies and wag for more

which they get. they're spoiled. or maybe i'm just buying a continuation of their love

i'm hoping this keeps me on track, i've been off and on the wagon lately. stress makes me want comfort foods, comfort foods ain't healthy foods, etc

it's a mental thing. and i have a lot of stress.

it's nice to accomplish things when you've spent your formative years being crippled and crazy. in a short amount of time my pitiful girl pushups became less pitiful, i can move an inch lower. my right leg can step me up and squat me on a chair (my left is somehow, very strangely, weaker. i use them equally, i do not understand)

so, breakfast was comfort foods. bad.
dinner was cheesy cauliflower and deviled eggs i made with YOGURT i made because i'm AMAZING. yeah that was a bad taste idea, never again. and truvia lemonade. followed by that abomination that did not look like the picture

[Hedonist]

Sorry about the stress. Don't know what to tell you. I think you know more about primal than I do. Hang in there!

[bloodorchid]

ah no worries

so i decided to thwart my generalized 'stalkers gonna get me' paranoia and put some pictures up. i hope that soon enough my body will friggen behave and i can put afters up and be all 'aw yee, i'm haght!' but, you know, til then..

and my boys


cookie decided early on i was his

i apologize for the baggy crotch shot

an opinion he still holds, he's sitting on my chest while i'm laying out


and a purty flower, because dammit i tried to grow things before the summer killed most of my plants

[bloodorchid]

so last night i felt a little self flagelatory and visited an anti-fat forum and discovered that not only am i disgusting, i am also a barnyard animal? well, not me specifically, i'm not married to them. you'd have to meet my ex to figure out why i do stupid things like this on bad days. i take it personally usually, that's how those posters see their wives, that must be how the whole world sees me and if the whole world sees me as disgusting, what did i do wrong? why am i gross?

it's not supposed to make sense

just that last night it didn't affect me like it would have in the past. i don't sit on my ass eating candy all day, i'm not exceptionally lazy, i was just lucky enough to have an f'd up hormonal system. there, high five me, i feel sudden validation

anyways. giant bottle of water and guacamole devils have been my food so far, my body still wants to run on carbs so i'm probably going to drink a gallon of coconut milk soon

i wanted to go walking with one of my dogs, but he wasn't really feeling the whole leash thing

[winencandy]

I think your boys should meet my girls

(I love your journal title)

[bloodorchid]

haha thanks and they totally love showing off and posturing for females, they're still too young to know why they do it but they do it

[bloodorchid]

i feel sorry for my dogs. i don't take them out enough. running around energetically inside isn't really a substitute for a good long exploratory stroll outside and i could use that too

but i sort of half fell off the wagon, you know, one leg in and the other hopping on the ground trying to get jumped back up, that and some inability to sleep and arthritis pain makes me boring. they don't really know the difference, i love on them and sit on the floor with them and they're happy. i sit at the computer too stiff to want to do anything and then they get bored laying around my feet

anyways meal so far has been diet dr pepper and spinach topped with full fat yogurt and i walked a mile on the treadmill

i'm sooooo coo'

[TigerLily]

<3
hi

your boys are adorable. but my boys would beat they ass. they don't mean to be evil; they just are.

[TigerLily]

four or three lil teddy bears?
(is that second pic of one of the above when a baby?)

[bloodorchid]

just 3 little bears (the brown one's name actually is little bear ha), tinypup in my lap is the dog on the right (mai cookie) (<3)

also your dogs probably could beat them up BUT my dogs would bark yours to death before hiding in my lap and behind my feet

[TigerLily]

mine are black cats, bigger than your guys.

[TigerLily]

tell me about this rod. what's the story?

I had two rods (and cross-bars .... FML), but I got the whole contraption taken out. any chance of that for you? I was scared as hell when I axed the neurosurgeon if they could come out, and surprised as shit when he casually said, "oh yeah, these come out, easy."

[bloodorchid]

when i was but a youngling and stupider than i am now i wrecked via bad driving, mine can't come out because it replaces some of my vertebrae

i wish it could come out tho, it seems like things would hurt less without it. and i have this feeling i'd be a lightning rod if i went outside during storms and that would be a sucky, if spectacular way to go

tho i can do a neat party trick where i set metal detectors off

[bloodorchid]

i have an unabashed love for horseradish sauce. there isn't anything that isn't better with a blob of horseradish added.

the burn in my sinuses is like what i imagine someone who snorts coke feels the rush of. but i could be wrong. but i doubt it.

last foods of today- chicken breast tenders with horseradish. fresh frozen green beans with 2 small sliced potatoes. spinach with coarse ground mustard. and an apple beforehand because i was hungry

whether i do some pitiful exercising before bed depends on how tired (ie; lazy) i feel but i'll probably do some crap because i brought it up here

[bloodorchid]

Why do i want bread products

WHY IS THE FORUM REMOVING MY ALL CAPS YELLING