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  • #46
    Out of town for a few days. Didn't eat the ice cream and other assorted goodies I knew were around where I was. Which may be a first. Felt surprisingly non-bingey while I was away. Usually this trip does me in, but happy to report not this time.

    We went out to eat one night and I got a 1/2 a roast chicken. It tasted deep fried. I don't know how they did it - the skin literally tasted lightly breaded and fried it was so crispy. I googled crispy roasted chicken and got some ideas - I'd love to be able to replicate it.

    Brain Over Binge came in the mail yesterday. Between this and Rational Recovery (which I believe was the major force behind the recovery for the author of BOB) I'm going to kick this thing.


    • #47
      Fish oil: yes
      Vit D: yes
      Vit B: no
      Magnesium: yes
      RR Reading/BOB: yes

      8:30 - 3 hard boiled eggs, 2 pieces of way-too-expensive Irish bacon from Whole Foods
      9 - 12: work
      Dog walk
      1:30 - left over drumstick, sliced garden tomato with vinegar and basil, 4 rice cakes with butter, 1 pack of almonds
      Crossfit + protein
      Salmon cakes (such a good, budget friendly recipe), cauliflower rice, salad with blue cheese crumbles and some sour cream
      Bowl of cherries and last of the freeze dried banana crumbs - may have a few squares of TJ chocolate before bed

      Not feeling binge-y today. Still nervous about the next time an urge to binge comes along. But there is so much in Brain over Binge and RR that makes so much sense. I almost want to go out for ice cream just to test it. But maybe not yet.


      • #48
        Boo - binge last night. All primal and thus I'll be fine tomorrow. I guess this Rational Recovery won't just be magic but maybe will take some effort on my part.

        I didn't want to post this but since I'm using this as a way to keep track of things myself since I don't journal or log food.


        • #49
          Alrighty, I'm back. That binge was my last one. There was a death in the family and then a vacation and the beginning of school and all has been manageable... I finished reading Brain Over Binge. My apologies to getting all riled up in the thread that suggested to "just stop binging" a while back. Turns out it was right. I'm still working on Rational Recovery but I've gotten through the main parts and have been able to put them into effect.

          I had one night (on vacation) where I wanted to binge very badly. I even stuck some $ in my jacket and walked to the camp office hoping to buy something (in my head I was saying "I'll be good after vacation") - but they had nothing. The urge went away rather quickly once I realized I had no options and when I woke up the next morning and found the money in my pocket I was so disgusted that I had almost given in and so encouraged by the fact that the urge went away so quickly when I just didn't binge. I've had much more success with the few other urges that arose and am finding that the urges are not as frequent or intense as they used to be.

          For example - yesterday was my first day back at school (as a student - career change). It is a very stressful program and I suspect there is some "weeding out" going on in these first few weeks. Overall it was a stressful day - everything is different than my time through college and grad school - a lot is on-line and digital and I spent hours yesterday trying to do things that should have taken 30 minutes just trying to figure out how to navigate these "blended" courses. My trip to the bookstore led me to discover that my books are over $1000 (which is quite unexpected). There are vending machines all over campus. And I was quite amazed to find that I didn't try to console myself with some sort of crap. I ate my hard boiled eggs and strawberries for breakfast and my shredded salsa chicken with jicama and sour cream for lunch. I didn't even need to talk myself out of buying candy, I just didn't want to. I know it won't always be this easy but I'm grateful for the days it is.

          Food plan for today:
          Fish oil:
          Vit D:
          Vit B: no
          RR Reading/BOB:

          BF: 2 prosciutto wrapped frittatas and strawberries
          L: crock pot salsa and chicken (this is so much better with TJ fresh salsa - making this with jarred salsa was always soooo salty), jicama, avocado
          Crossfit + protein
          D: ? leftovers


          • #50
            Had some free time this afternoon so I dug this up. I tend to not keep up with it when I'm being "bad"... which explains my absence. I was feeling really good after doing some reading about binge eating but have slid back into bad habits. I wish I could say it was going back to school (again, for yet another degree) was the reason but I don't know that it really is. I can find patterns in my binging but I know, in my heart, that RR is right - every time I binge I make a choice to binge. And I just need to make the other choice.

            Anyway... back to journaling:

            Fish oil: done
            Vit D: done
            Vit B: done
            Magnesium: done
            RR Reading/BOB:

            6 AM - ran 1 mile with dog in new NB semi-minimalist shoes. That I hope to break in slowly. And not get a stress fracture like I did with Vibrams...!

            on the way to school, coffee with 1/4 c half and half
            BF - 3 eggs, left over roasted broccoli, "pizza topping", 1 tbsp butter
            L - leftover red wine flank steak and kobucha squash (<-- LOVE THIS STUFF!) with 1 tbsp butter
            Xfit - been skipping the protein shake, not sure if this is good or bad
            D - salad with blue cheese and vinaigrette, paleo sheperd's pie, 2 small apples, 4 tbsp PB
            Last edited by lorichka6; 10-07-2012, 04:02 PM.


            • #51
              Fish oil: none today
              Vit D: done
              Vit B: done
              Magnesium: done
              RR Reading/BOB:

              FINALLY feels like fall around here... about 40 this AM when I left for a 2.5 mile run with dog - love the feel of new sneakers... hope that there is enough cushioning in there though! Did the P90x abs and some dumb bell shoulder presses when I got home. Not in the mood for xfit today.

              B - 4 slices of back bacon, 3 rice cakes, 2 tbsp butter (not in the mood AT ALL for usual eggs and veggies)
              L - 2 string cheese, small apple, 1/2 c homemade unsweetened applesauce, few bites of roasted potatoes, 4 oz goat cheese
              D - shredded iceberg lettuce topped with Well Fed's chocolate chili, spoonful of sour cream and 1 oz cheddar. Yummy! TJ's chocolate for dessert

              On a side note, discovered Walking Dead on Netflix last night. Found a new series to watch


              • #52
                Just some observations after my bout with the flu...

                I can intuitively eat when I'm sick I get full. And then hungry. And then eat some - but not too much, because I get full again. I wish this always happened! Darn compulsive eating.

                Other things I learned after my first flu since the early 1990's... gosh I'm getting old..

                Besides ibuprofen, OTC drugs are not a first choice. Hot water with lemon and honey, homemade chicken soup and a menthol ointment from the Amish fair (<-- maybe some codeine in there... worked so well ) are much better. I tried Contact cold and flu and the resulting dry throat/nasal cavity was actually MORE painful than the congestion... awful.

                Coffee after 4 days of abstaining is wonderful

                Feels good to be on the mend!


                • #53
                  I have spent 12 hours on Amtrak over the last week and spent a lot of time reading journals on here... decided to come back to mine.

                  On the advice of another poster I ordered another book to help with the compulsive eating - which is still bothersome. Though reading through journals on here I do realize I'm not the only one with this... misery loves company I've also tried tapping (EFT) over the last few weeks - and it worked to get me out of 1 binge. Completely. On the way to the store to buy food. Tapped. Came home feeling fine. About a week later, another urge and I friggin' purposely chose not to do it. Its like the urge for the pleasure from the eating is just so powerful I can look a remedy in the eye and say "nah - I'd rather continue to sabotage my mental and physical health and wellness for a few hours of mental food induced pleasure". WTF. Sigh.

                  On the positive side of things... had a job interview today. Fingers crossed it works out - I think I would really enjoy this job and it would be a foot in the door for future employment at the same institution.

                  Garden is coming in. I think there is enough lettuce for salad tonight

                  Food, etc for today:

                  Sleep - fitful - feeling very "wired" for lack of a better word - like I'm drinking coffee before bed, which I'm not. Even had magnesium which usually helps...

                  11 AM - 3 mile run, 30 pistols - easy day after 2 days of crossfit while out of town - I am considering joining again. I wish there were a box that were not so expensive that ALSO had good programming near me.

                  Noon - 7 oz Applegate turkey with some mustard and a handful of cherry tomatoes

                  2:30 - pumpkin pie thing (pumpkin, egg, coc milk, spices and some honey) with 2 tbsp walnuts and 2 tbsp coconut butter

                  Going to go take some fish oil and Vit D while I'm thinking of it and then go walk the doggies on this beautiful (finally!) day.

                  Dinner ended up being grassfed burgers with zucchini "pasta" and a big salad with a single glass of white wine. Oddly enough I wasn't in the mood for chocolate for dessert so I had frozen blueberries with some coconut milk with a handful of Whole Foods "fancy" rice krispies on top for some crunch.
                  Last edited by lorichka6; 06-15-2013, 05:55 AM.


                  • #54
                    Might be time to ditch the scale again. I get so caught up in that stupid number. And then I get so frustrated that so many people on here just seem to magically have no cravings and no appetite and effortlessly get to body weights that reveal hard earned muscles (while mine continue to hide beneath a nice little layer of cushioning). Grumble grumble.

                    Ok, enough with the daily weight sob story.

                    Trying a hike today with both dogs. This is Dog 2's first hike so not sure what to expect - hopefully it will go well!


                    • #55
                      Hike turned out quite nice yesterday. For some reason this mountain gets very few visitors - which means the trails are not eroded (as most are in our neck of the hiking woods). We passed 4 people all day. Dog 2 is not very good with other dogs and when we passed a couple with 2 dogs, one not on a leash, she was a little crazy, but besides that keeping her on leash all day wasn't bad. I need to look into finding some guidance for her behavior though I think, because it does seem to be getting worse. When we got her around Thanksgiving we could tell she wasn't good with all dogs - but there were some she was totally fine with. I think now she is bad with ALL dogs and seems to be getting the same way with people. Walking her in the city she has been fine when we pass people, but yesterday when we passed a couple (with no dogs) she hackled up and started barking... maybe it was just being in the woods? I don't know - but I don't want this to progress.

                      Food yesterday:

                      3 boiled eggs before hike
                      Pumpkin, walnuts and coconut butter on hike
                      Almonds and apple post hike

                      For dinner we made the burger on the homepage - turned out great. Made zucchini noodles with a cilantro/garlic sauce to go with the burgers. Delicious dinner. Blueberries with coconut milk and some crispy rice for dessert.


                      • #56
                        Lazy day around the house yesterday. Didn't eat until nearly 2:30 - leftover burger and leftover chicken and a few carrots and grape tomatoes. One small glass of wine and a large bowl of cantaloupe and melon at the in-laws. Dinner was frozen blueberries, coconut milk and sprinkle of rice "krispies" on top. Dessert (not sure if it counts after a dessert-dinner) was a small TJ choc/almond bar.

                        Along with getting the scale locked up I decided to not track food too. We'll see how this goes... Just trying to be in charge of what I can be - the food. And not what I can't be - the # on the scale.

                        Back to work today after family stuff last week. Busy day - on my feet almost all day from 7-3. So much better than all the time I spend sitting in classrooms during the year.

                        Packed food: 3 HB eggs, salmon cakes, baby carrots and grape tomatoes and some coconut butter. Dinner will be those MDA guac burgers again trying to use up our package of avocados.

                        A rather bad T-storm just rolled through but once it seems on its way out I'm hoping to get out the door for a quick 2 mile run and then to the gym to do some squats and presses.


                        • #57
                          Well, made it to the gym Monday after that storm but haven't gone since!

                          I just started working a 7-3 shift and now get up at 5 instead of 5:30-6. The hour difference is proving to be tougher than I expected it to be... Even though Tues and Weds weren't busy at work I was just too tired to go work out... part of the problem is that I'm not loving a weights-only routine and miss CrossFit. I got a bit stronger right after quitting because I was so motivated to get to the gym each day but that lasted only about 3-4 weeks. The last two months I've been getting to the gym maybe 3 times a week and seem to basically be back to where I started in terms of lifts.

                          I may have a new gym buddy though - we have a 3 week free trial so I'll see if having a partner to go with helps a bit. If not I guess I'll just head on back to crossfit, maybe try a different box.

                          Food wise - no logging, no scale. I am intrigued by the "body confusion" theory getting posted on here. Based on that I ate normal paleo M,T and tried a fruit/veggie day yesterday. Turned into a binge. But, I slept like a rock for about 10 hours in my carb coma - so that was nice. Since I am now wearing scrubs and have tossed the scale I don't even feel bad today I also managed to sit down for about 10 minutes during my 8 hour shift so it was a great day to not have any appetite.

                          We are having a totally perfect weather day here today before the humidity rolls in with the official start of summer so I think I may retire to the hammock for a bit before heading off to the gym.


                          • #58
                            Decided to do a Spartan WOD this morning.

                            As written: 1 mile run/30 burpees/1 mile run/100 squats/1 mile run/30 burpees/1 mile run/100 lunges/1 mile run/50 push ups/1 mile run/80 burpees

                            I scaled the runs to 0.4 miles (once around the block) and only did 40 burpees for that last set. Used a 15 lb plate overhead to do the lunges though (this was a mistake). Felt pretty good until the push ups. My arms were sore from benching Thursday and after the 60 burpees and lunges holding up the plate I broke the 50 into 10,10 and then 5s for the rest.

                            Then we went for a bike ride. I used to be pretty into biking probably logging 2-3000 miles per season but not so much anymore. My bike had cobwebs on it. Cleaned it up a bit last night and took her out today. I was hoping that CrossFit and the fact that my squat has gone from 50lbs or so to 160lbs would make up a bit for the lack of riding the last 3 years. Nope. We did 10 relatively flat miles. 15mph. Oh well, gotta start somewhere. I'm hoping that if I can ride 2-3x per week before the triathlon in 3 weeks I can be in off-season shape... wishful thinking? I don't know. The tri is only 11.5 miles for the ride and I honestly thought I could just hop on my bike and do that without a problem. I'm a bit humbled.

                            However, in other athletic endeavors - at my bench workout the other day I got 105 3,2,2 in an attempt at 3x3. Super excited about this. I also dead lifted 3x3 at 187. My first set was 197 (oops!) and I got 2 before the bar slipped from my hands. The bars at the "new" gym are kinda slick - I've never run into this before. Even with gloves I was having trouble holding on. Failed at 110 clean from the floor, but got it from the hang.


                            • #59
                              Went to a Fermentation class at the local food cooperative yesterday. For some reason I had this preconception that fermenting food was somehow difficult and a multi-step process. This was probably based on touring breweries and hearing about all the steps to make beer using fermentation. I guess I applied that process to sauerkraut too I can't believe how easy it is. I have two small jars of a jazzed up sauerkraut sitting in mason jars on the table waiting to ripen We put in onions, garlic scapes, carrots, ginger, hot pepper and radishes... Next up will be ginger carrots. And probably a plain sauerkraut.

                              Before heading there we went to the gym to swim. I don't even know the last time I swam - probably 5 years or so. I barely made it through a 200 yesterday. I tried to lift after swimming and it wasn't pretty. Squats were so so - 3x3 at 145. Tried to do some cleans and could barely get 90 up - vs 110 just 2 days ago. Presses I managed 1 set of 3 at 75 and couldn't even get one up on my second set. From now on I'll lift before swimming! The swim for the tri is 350 yards or so - so I just need to be able to do that.

                              Food was farmers cheese, coconut butter and walnuts with blueberries for breakfast around noon. Munched on carrots and tomatoes while cooking dinner which was Elana's Pantry's chipotle chicken on the rotisserie with roasted sweet potatoes and 2 zucchini noodle dishes with different sauces (mango/ginger/mint and onion/garlic/tomato/basil). 2/3 of a Theo chili chocolatae bar for dessert.

                              Still not tracking food for calories. Got on the scale this morning though... hoping for maybe a teensy little bit of loss since I *feel* like I'm eating a little less not tracking (no more "Oh, I have enough calories for the WHOLE chocolate bar") but nope. Exactly the same as last week when the scale went away. On the one hand I didn't get down at all last week because of an arbitrary number on the scale. I'm not wasting time entering food on my little online calculator thing. But there is a part of me that always worries just a bit that I'm eating too much (when I don't track) and if I don't weigh myself it will be a while before I know. BUT... I got the Gillian Riley book in the mail about compulsive eating and I've got this week off from work to go through it. Hopefully there will be some useful info in there for me to help change my thought process away from trying to control a number on a scale and focus more on controlling the food going into my mouth and the thoughts in my head.


                              • #60
                                So... I'm going along, feeling good - no scale, no food log... and Wednesday rolls around. Wednesday was always a binge night because I was alone and I "could". I guess, in reality I don't really know why, because I'm alone other nights and it doesn't happen... but this Wednesday I wasn't home alone and the urge to binge was really bad. Mostly paleo - raisins, dark chocolate, banana "ice cream", etc but still way more food than I needed and it was compulsive eating. What the heck?

                                But besides that things are much better without the scale and the food log. I'm trying to make good choices and for the most part (Wed night being the exception) I feel much better. The scale will not come out this weekend for some sort of weekly weigh in.


                                Wednesday - Run 1 mile, 3x3 dead lift @190, attempt at 3x3 bench 105 - 3,2,2.
                                Thurs - Spartan WOD again run 0.5 mile to start and then between 30 burpees, 100 squats, 30 burpees, 100 lunges, 50 push ups, 40 burpees. 50 minutes total.
                                Fri - 1 mile run, 3x3 OHS @85, 2 ring dips EMOM for 10 minutes, 21-15-9 Russian KB swings @53, Hang Clean @65, pull ups

                                Hoping to do some biking and open water swimming this weekend and a short hike on Sunday.