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Primal Journal: Like a boss

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  • #16
    You're right. You're both right. Fasting would have been a bad idea. I'm in no position to be fasting right now. I did end up eating again...some good food and some not so good food. I'm in a serious funk tonight. I'm not even going to post my food today because it was so stupid. Starting tomorrow (ha..never heard THAT before) no nuts and no dairy. Maybe for 30 days? Maybe just for as long as I can? I thought I could do moderation but obviously I can't.

    Also, this morning was one of the first times since my horrendous binging episode that I wasn't super bloated. So I got to see what kind of real damage I did during that period of being off the wagon. I definitely gained some weight. Especially around the mid section. This freaks me out and makes me feel like I should jump back into 16/8 fasting. I did that this summer and I felt as though I looked good. I definitely had less fat and more definition. But on the other hand I'm not sure if I'm recovered enough to do that yet. Why can't I just have a NORMAL relationship with food?!


    • #17
      I just want to throw a "I second that" out to what Wooty and Lex said. I can say that I have had many binges (mini and big) and always punished myself and felt miserable after. Part of the reason I was no where to be found for a year on this website. After my 30 days (where I did a good amount of IF) I binged a little and then a lot and then decided I needed to stop all together because I was beating myself up about it all so much. I think that it is really hard to not be "all or nothing" and it is really easy to punish yourself but I think healthy eating habits are more important than losing any weight. By healthy I mean mentally healthy. I know its easy to say (I will probably need you to say the same thing to me down the road because I know I will find myself in the same situation) but do your best to recognize that it happens and it is okay. I honestly believe that eating primal is so healthy in terms of all the benefits for your body, but I also know that there is a fine line of healthy eating with primal because once you know that chocolate and bread and delicious things are out there (which most of us doing, being brought up on it all), you can't just pretend that they aren't and say i will never eat those things again. Those are just some of my thoughts - so be healthy! primally and mentally : ) don't beat your self up lady! love your self! -BYD

      "Become Your Dream" - De La Vega

      "“The fight is won or lost far away from witnesses - behind the lines, in the gym and out there on the road, long before I dance under those lights.” - Muhammad Ali


      • #18
        This is all part of experimenting for the right diet. When I first did primal, ate fruit. And then I would binge on 5+ apples a day. So I cut that out. But then dairy was still there and I would binge on whatever dairy products were in the fridge. So I cut that out. Then my cravings were completely under control. Everybody wants to pity me for not eating fruit or dairy, but honestly, life has been easier without them. With them, I was always overeating and then feeling like crap about myself. I continue to tweak things to figure out how to get healthier, but my self-esteem is a lot better than it used to be because I realize that when my appetite is out of whack, it's not my willpower's fault. It's because there's something biological going on forcing it to go a little wild.
        Starting weight: 225
        Current weight: 195
        Goal: One pull-up by December 31, 2012
        Method: Schwarzbein Principle II, program for insulin sensitive/burned-out adrenals
        My Primal Journey

        Created by - Nutrition Facts For Foods


        • #19
          GET READY! AND GET EXCITED! This is going to be a great journey. I think we should do something that is a different kind of challenge like I don't want it to be 30 days and then its over. We can just make the 30 days our jump start! I know I certainly need one of those after the way my year has gone since I did that first 30 day challenge haha. Just my thoughts...

          "Become Your Dream" - De La Vega

          "“The fight is won or lost far away from witnesses - behind the lines, in the gym and out there on the road, long before I dance under those lights.” - Muhammad Ali


          • #20
            Oh I agree! I'm very excited for this! I also agree that I need to make it more of a lifestyle thing and not just a "challenge" that ends with me elbow deep in chocolate and almond butter for 3 weeks. Ew. I've totes been there and I'm NOT into it. Yea, I just said "totes", but I'm kidding so it's cool. ANYway....I also like the idea o f the 30 days just being a jump start! That follows the whole lifestyle thing. This is more than just a challenge! This is us getting SERIOUS and being primal bosses! We're going to show all our CW roommates/friends that we know what's up! They are going to drool over our abs while eating boxed mashed potatoes and lean pockets! Suckers.

            I'm seriously going to take before pics...don't know if I'll post them though. Maybe at the end, if there's a significant difference. I'm also going to post later about what my personal "rules" will be for this whole thing. I still need to think about it. Also, maybe we shouldn't call them rules? I don't know, I've just had trouble in the past with "rules" and "challenges". Maybe I just won't use those words...maybe I will, I don't know yet. Alright, I'm excited! Yay mutual support! Can't wait to read about your goals!


            • #21
              Ugh. I HATE to do this to you al09 but I don't think I can do this challenge right now. : ( . I don't want to let you down so I am going to support you the whole way but I just don't feel like I am in a good place to commit to something like this right now. I just got some bad news in my family. Everything is okay I just know I am not in a good state of mind to do this, have some distractions now, and know I would probably go off on major binges or something so I think its best I don't. BUT You better kill it!! And I will be here to be supportive! I hate to do this to you last second but don't let that stop you from being diced and awesome. Sorriessss -BYD.

              "Become Your Dream" - De La Vega

              "“The fight is won or lost far away from witnesses - behind the lines, in the gym and out there on the road, long before I dance under those lights.” - Muhammad Ali


              • #22
                What a bummer I understand what you're saying though, and you don't want to put yourself in a situation that will only make things worse. I'll admit though, I'm nervous to do this alone! But seriously, don't feel bad because you don't owe me anything and you need to do what's best for you! With that being said, I'm still going to do this. I need to. I need to change my ways and get back on track. I can see and feel my health slipping. I'm feeling super tired, depressed, and uncomfortable in my own skin. I've definitely gained weight and I feel disgusting and bloated and gross. I've been thinking a lot about what I want these 30 days to be for me, and this is what I've come up with:

                Like a Boss Manifesto
                -absolutely no nuts. none.
                -no dairy
                -no chocolate!!
                -no sugar!!!
                -limited fruit
                -keep doing PBF/BodyRock, yoga, and walking/jogging
                -start sprinting!
                -I'll also be incorporating some supplements (tryptophan and/or St. Johns Wort most likely)

                -lose a few pounds (I'm going to try not to get hung up on numbers, so I'm not going to specify an amount. I just want to lose what I've gained and FEEL better)
                -improve body comp
                -get rid of SIBO symptoms again
                -be able to do 3 pull-ups in a row!
                -stop binging/purging

                That last one is big. That's the real main goal here, but I know it's easier said than done. I just need to focus on my health, and realize that binging/purging is not conducive to health AT ALL.

                So, I feel like this is a bit sloppy, but I've been doing homework all day and I can't really form coherent thoughts right now.

                I just want to be healthy again! I want to radiate health and wellness and be a shining example of Paleo success!
                Like. a. boss.

                OH! And when the 30 days is over, my reward will be a purchase from Lululemon! Huzzah! No food rewards here!!!!

                Your input and suggestions are welcome and encouraged
                Last edited by al09; 01-30-2012, 07:38 PM.


                • #23
                  good luck! keep us updated!


                  • #24
                    Weeellll hello!!

                    So today was Day 1, and it was actually an awesome day! Which is surprising because physically I'm so bloated I look like I'm hiding a pregnancy. I am seriously bursting out of my pants right now, but I'm just reminding myself that it's all the bad food working its way through my system, and that this is why I'm doing this challenge!

                    So, despite getting almost zero sleep last night (I was super anxious and uncomfortable and just could not sleep), I had a really productive day at work (aka practicum for school), ate well, and was generally in a good mood! I'll take it! Apparently I love parenthesis.

                    My food for today:

                    B- black coffee, tin of sardines, two raw carrots (random? yes)
                    L- chicken breast and zucchini, mushrooms, spinach sauteed in coconut oil, raw cucumbers
                    Snack after work- natural beef stick, 3 eggs sauteed in coconut oil (this "snack" was rather large because I had a freakin meeting this evening. Don't people want to eat dinner?!)
                    D- a butt load of turkey cold cuts, bowl of frozen veggies (cooked, obvi), and some of the beef sliders I made for tomorrow

                    So dinner was not the best, but hey, I didn't break any of my rules, and it was strangely satisfying. I'm weird in that I either like super strong flavors (hello, sardines for breakfast? wtf) or super plain things, like plain veggies and turkey. Oh well, I'm not trying to understand I'm just going with what I want. I'm blaming my random and large dinner on the fact that I wasn't prepared enough and didn't bring good food with me to my meeting. Lesson learned! I came home tonight and made a batch of green sliders from Nom Nom Paleo, that way I have something good on hand in a pinch. I made them with grass fed beef and organic veggies, so they are the real deal. They are super tasty too, check out the recipe!

                    Didn't get to workout at all today, and I won't get to tomorrow either since I have crap to do from 9am-9pm. Ohhh well, I'll definitely get my ass in gear on Wednesday.

                    Hopefully I'll look less 16 and pregnant tomorrow...definitely not a hot look. I'm so amped for Day 2!

                    PS- aren't "ice breaker" activities the absolute worst? Find me someone who actually likes that crap and I will give you my life savings (full disclosure: I'm a grad student and have approximately 35 cents to my name).

                    Peace out Grokkers!!!!


                    • #25
                      I dare you to find something that tastes better than local bacon and organic black coffee!


                      • #26
                        Gonna try to keep this quick for my sake. I'm exhausted.

                        Day 2 was a success! I ate as well as I could (I literally had work, meetings, and class from 9am-9pm), and I feel pretty good.

                        B-black coffee, 2 little beef sliders, 4 slices of bacon
                        L- (not till 2:30, work was busy) more sliders, raw cucumber, decaf coffee with coconut milk
                        D-even MORE sliders (6), 1tbsp homemade mayo, nuked frozen veggies, 2 hb eggs, decaf coffee

                        So, it's probably not good for a person who is trying to lose weight to eat almost an entire lb of beef in 24 hours. It seems like I'm eating a lot of food, but I'm hungry! Maybe I'm just adjusting from being a "sugar burner" while I was off the wagon, to becoming a primal fat burner again. The other concern is that while I'm eating so much, my digestion is still so effed up from last week that nothing is, um...exiting. If you think that's gross, then get over it. Sorryi'mnotsorry. ANYway...mentally I feel good! Still excited to be doing this. Physically, I feel ok, but I look like dog crap, and that's kinda getting to me. I just need to realize this is not a quick process. I look how I used to look...before SCD and Primal. Bloated and gross. Hopefully not for much longer.

                        Didn't get to workout at all today because I was so busy, but tomorrow I will fo sho, and I'm looking forward to it.



                        • #27
                          I think "sorryi'mnotsorry" is my favorite new word.

                          Yeah, sugar withdrawal does not feel good. Just know it's temporary. On the constipation front, you might want to keep looking into the stomach acid and HCl supplement thing. If you're not digesting things well - especially protein - yeah, things get stuck and you get bloated. It's a common complaint that high-protein diets cause constipation, but digestion just needs to be improved. Don't rush meals, chew thoroughly and think about HCl supplements. Also, fat literally greases the path . Ew.
                          Starting weight: 225
                          Current weight: 195
                          Goal: One pull-up by December 31, 2012
                          Method: Schwarzbein Principle II, program for insulin sensitive/burned-out adrenals
                          My Primal Journey

                          Created by - Nutrition Facts For Foods


                          • #28
                            Hey Lex! Yea, my roommate hates the term "sorryi'mnotsorry", sooooo I've been saying it a lot lately because I'm an ass.

                            Thanks for the tip on HCl, I didn't realize that could have something to do with it. Also, the fat thing. usually I eat lots of fat but I guess the past two days haven't been as I guess I'll try that route too Thanks!


                            • #29
                              Day 3!!!

                              Today was a pretty sweet day! I had an important "pre-interview" phone conversation this morning about my upcoming internship, so I was SSSUUUUUPER nervous about that. But, I got through it, and I made a better choices regarding my stress eating hahahah. Ohhhh I know one of my goals is to stop using food as a crutch, and it still is, but I'm going to chalk this up to progress and not get super upset that I in fact did stress eat. Can't win 'em all.

                              Food...this was a bit off today, but still within my rules!

                              Morning (since I was kind of "grazing" until my interview at 1pm I'm just making this one big category)-
                              -3 beef sliders (finally killed those suckers. They were delicious)
                              -raw green cabbage with homemade mayo (totally satisfied my need for a crunch. I actually ate a ton of cabbage, but ummm it could be worse?)
                              -some random turkey cold cuts
                              -2 eggs sauteed in bacon grease

                              Then I did a PBF style workout and realized:
                              1. skipping a few days of working out makes me clumsy and elephant like
                              2. I've definitely gained weight and I DON'T like how I'm looking right now. G-ross.
                              3. Feeling gross about yourself makes me not want to workout.

                              I pushed through though. And then I took my new Vibrams for a walk!! It was 42 glorious degrees here today, so I had to take advantage and walk outside. I love the Veebs, but I'll admit, after 40 minutes my little toesies were freezing!

                              Late Afternoon (4p)

                              -1 can of tuna in water with some homemade mayo and balsamic vinegar (my dad's recipe, it's the bomb)
                              -little bowl of broccoli and cauliflower with some coconut oil and Franks

                              Then I went to hot yoga! Fuck yea!

                              -5oz steak
                              -3 slices of local bacon
                              -sauteed spinach
                              -1/4 cup salsa

                              -2 more oz steak, coconut oil

                              I usually try not to eat so late but I was actually hungry, and the left over steak looked really good. I'm not going to make it a habit because I'd like to get back to 16/8 fasting.

                              Bacon and steak in one meal you say? Ohhhh yes. I'm a boss.
                              Last edited by al09; 02-01-2012, 08:50 PM. Reason: added snack


                              • #30
                                stress eating

                                If you can at least make your stress eating healthy that's the first step. Then there's finding the strength not to do it at all. It's still a weak spot for me, but I've been good for the last month. Today was another major writing day so I all of a sudden had evil cravings for sugar. Luckily I was able to distract myself with a walk and my iPod. In those situations I just have to try really hard to get the logical part of my brain to say, "This pressure sucks but eating really isn't going to make it better - never does." That part of my brain basically has to yell at the top of its lungs when I'm stressed out in order to win. The more it wins, though, the easier it gets to realize that those cravings are temporary and conquerable through a mix of calming down/distraction.
                                Starting weight: 225
                                Current weight: 195
                                Goal: One pull-up by December 31, 2012
                                Method: Schwarzbein Principle II, program for insulin sensitive/burned-out adrenals
                                My Primal Journey

                                Created by - Nutrition Facts For Foods