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Jorunal of a former obese teen living Primal

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  • #61
    Originally posted by BennettC View Post
    Thanks for the encouraging words and I apologize for my language, I was very frustrated when I wrote that. I think I'm going to take the job on the farm as soon as I finish my GED and can negotiate things with them. I think my mother just sees me as a problem child and always will. I did a lot of really bad things in my teen years, terrible things. A lot of these were to rebel. After the divorce, I never wanted to be home because I could never have peace of mind around her. She has been depressed almost my entire life and it's a terrible thing to be around. Nothing has ever been private with her either, I learned in my teen years I could never tell her anything in private without the whole lot of her friends and half the town knowing. I just don't trust her plain and simple. When she found out about my pot smoking she called the police on me. That happened more than once too. She once had a Lieutenant come to the house and try to scare the living shit out of me and tried to make me feel like a junkie once. When I finally got a car I was never ever at home. Basically lived at friends houses and in fact one time she kicked me out of the house and I did live with a friend for a month. I would also intentionally work heavy hours to stay away from home. I totaled my car in a DUI accident in November of 2011 and almost killed two girls. She has never even looked at me the same since then. She trashed me to my probation officer in front of my face during the first visit. I simply have no trust with her and feel like I can't talk to her about anything...because I can't. A friend is mailing me some kefir grains and a few other health items and she saw a text between us about it. She immediately began questioning me and asked if I was lying to her. I said lying about what? what would I have to lie about? This is a short list to say the least. Yeah I did some horrible things, but I'm not that person anymore. I'm clean. I don't smoke or drink and I'm healthy. She can't see that.
    Your best "revenge" will be your own success!

    It can take a long, long time for trust to build up again or to establish trust for the first time. Both of you made some poor choices, and her depression (and yours?) really complicates things. As a parent, I can COMPLETELY understand where she gets her mistrust from, and as a child myself I can also understand why you are disappointed and frustrated (my mom isn't the warmest creature on the planet). There is a probably a core part of your bonding relationship that is missing because of that depression and that makes me sad for you.

    So, work on that GED and continue on the right path. I think that farm-hand prospect sounds wonderful. I hope it works out for you. Stay CLEAN. You have a second chance that many do not get; make the most of it. That GED will open doors for you and give you options. Not everyone has to take the perfect path to success so don't get down about it.
    Age 48
    Start date: 7-5-12
    GOAL: to live to be a healthy and active 100

    "In health there is freedom. Health is the first of all liberties."
    Henri Frederic Amiel


    • #62
      Stay clean, stay strong, stay positive and stay the course. The success will follow.

      It isn't the mountains ahead that wear you out....Its the grain of sand in your shoe.


      • #63
        Originally posted by urbancaveman View Post
        Hey mate! Just seen your profile and you seem like you have got a lot of gains from going primal! I too sometimes struggle with my ma! she is a nurse that gives dietry advice but she is indoctrinated by CW and doesn't understand what this lifestyle is and the benefits it gives.

        I noticed that you switched from Stronglifts 5x5 in your workout routine, any particular reason?? What are your overall goals?

        Keep up the good work!!
        Thanks for the kind words everyone. I switched from stronglifts because I just really didn't like the program and I like to workout more than 3 days a week with more than 3 exercises. Overall goals right now is to get lean cut, stay that way, and gain some overall strength. I kind of found Mehdi to be full of shit IMO. I did take some good things from that program though like the fact that you have to do progressive loading and you have to rest. The routine I've put together is based on Dr. Greg Ellis's program over here
        Last edited by BennettC; 10-02-2012, 06:07 AM.
        Paleo since November 2011 - Carnivore since June 2012
        Before and after pics
        Primal Sucess Story
        Primal Journal


        • #64
          Your home life sounds terrible. Get out of there as soon as you can. You are already on your way to becoming a much better and happier person. How long till you get your GED?

          BTW...I was born in Aiken, SC and my grandma still lives there. I miss the BBQ hash out there...alot! Here in Texas it is all beef...I wish I could get her to mail me some hash. :P
          It's just another day in paradise
          As you stumble to your bed
          You'd give anything to silence
          Those voices ringing in your head
          You thought you could find happiness
          Just over that green hill
          You thought you would be satisfied
          But you never will-
          Learn to be still
          -The Eagles


          • #65
            So I've just gotten home from the gym...workout was ok. I'm kind of jittery right now, I've had wayyy too much caffeine today. I've also been fasting for about 25 hours now. I've been curious to see how a workout is on a 24 hours fast. It was ok but my performance wasn't as good as I expected. Won't workout when I've been fasting that long anymore needless to say. Arms was a good day to try it out though as I wasn't doing any huge compound lifts. Threw in a little core work at the end as well today. Next week I'm going to swap the revere curls for preacher curls as the reverse feel really awkward and unnatural to me. Also tried the French curls on the floor today, I didn't get as much out of them as I do on the bench. Anyways heres the results:
            Regular Warm-up
            Neutral Grip Pull-ups:
            Set 1: 8 1/2
            Set 2: 4 1/2
            Iso: 10 secs

            Weighted Tricep Dips:
            Set 1: 15 w/ 25lb plate
            Set 2: " "
            Iso: 10 secs up and down / 25lb plate

            Bicep Curls:
            Set 1: 10 at 70lbs
            Set 2: " "
            Iso: 10 secs at 35lbs

            Reverse Curls: (wasn't able to go up 5lbs)
            Set 1: 10 at 55lbs
            Set 2: " "
            Iso: 10 secs at 30lbs

            French Curls (on floor):
            Set 1: 10 at 60lbs
            Set 2: 7 at 60lbs
            Iso: 10 secs at 30lbs

            Abs: (supersets with these 2 exercises)
            Hanging Leg Raises:
            Set 1: 25
            Set 2: 25

            Ball Crunches: (used the ball because it's easier on my lower back)
            Set 1: 25
            Set 2: 25

            Cooled down on treadmill for 5 minutes
            Paleo since November 2011 - Carnivore since June 2012
            Before and after pics
            Primal Sucess Story
            Primal Journal


            • #66
              So just got back from the gym. I had an ok workout. A little low on energy. I need to stop worrying so much about calorie restricting myself and just fuckin eat. I also think I should increase my eating window. Also wondering about my routine, I feel as though my arms day is useless and I should move back into a 5x5 type routine. The thing I don't like about stronglifts is there is no bodyweight exercises. I feel like they are really important, but I like the layout of the routine, 5 sets of five. Anyways heres the results from today

              Usual warm-up

              Did 2 warm-up sets
              15 / bar
              12/ 95 lbs
              Set 1: 12 at 125lbs
              Set 2: " "
              Iso:10 secs at 65lbs

              Leg Press:
              Set 1: 15 at 230lbs
              Set 2: " "
              Iso: 10secs at 115lbs

              Hamstring Curls (machine):
              Set 1: 7 at 50lbs
              Set 2: 8 at 40lbs
              Iso: 10 secs at 30lbs

              Front Squats:
              Set 1: 12 at 100lbs
              Set 2: " "
              Iso: 10 secs at 50lbs

              cooled down on the row machine
              I increased weight in all exercises successfully
              Next week going back to stiff leg deadd, don't feel like I got much out of the hamstring machine
              Paleo since November 2011 - Carnivore since June 2012
              Before and after pics
              Primal Sucess Story
              Primal Journal


              • #67
                so ive decided im moving to a three day split. on my arm day im basically just being a curl monkey and its not really doing anything for me except slowing my recovery. im going to up the intensity on my three days and add a third set to each exercise. im going to take out the isometric set bc I don't feel like im really getting anything out of it. I will still incorporate some isometric exercises though. the new routine is still basically going to be the same exercises just more sets

                Monday: Chest, tri's, shoulders
                Wednesday: Quads, hamstrings, calfs
                Friday: Back, Biceps, rear delts
                Paleo since November 2011 - Carnivore since June 2012
                Before and after pics
                Primal Sucess Story
                Primal Journal