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Primal Journal: NZ Suse

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  • a good day
    B Scrambled eggs
    L Leftover shepherds pie, 2 fish oils
    D Fish (crumbed, my boyfriend made it) with salad and some pumpkin fries (boyfriend experimenting... not a winner, didnt really eat many). Small (prob 100ml if that) red wine. Coffee with cream after dinner. 2 vit D's.

    Quiet night, we ate dinner very early last night, turned the tv off and just sat and read. Normally we are quite a chatty pair, always something to talk about but it was just one of those nights where it was nice to just sit and read. I had a bit of a headache when I got home and felt very tired, I think probably from the acupuncture.

    Slept well, but man, the dreams. Does anyone else experience vivid dreaming? I never used to with such regularity before I'm sure.

    Jumped on my scales this morning, below 54kg (cant recall now) and 21.7 body fat! Yay... I said a while back I wanted to get down to 22 BF before I went on holiday. Now I know that the BF isnt accurate, but it is a guideline so that does make me feel good. (I was 24.9 the very first time I weighed myself on them so its reducing which is great!) I am still manically massaging the stomach fat I dont really know if there is a difference or not, but I think there could be a chance I'll actually publish a bikini shot in the before and after sticky when I get back! dont hold your breath though!!! I'm very self critical.


    • LOL Suse, I was just going to ask if you have been keeping up on your massaging and brushing?! yay! where the mind goes, the man follows-keep imagining its doing something spectacular congrats on the weigh in too!


      • thanks evita... I havent actually got around to buying a natural bristle brush for the dry skin brushing yet. I can just imagine my bathroom being covered in gross dead skin...ewwwwwww.

        But yes the massage...which is very vigourous... I sort of pinch my skin and roll it around... anyway I try to convince myself that it is breaking down the fat globules and that when I drink a lot of water and go to the toilet I am peeing them out. Who knows. Perhaps there is method to my madness

        Just had lunch, major sugar craving kicked in straight away after. Have fended it off by making myself a protein shake (which has a bit of cocoa in it). But I feel full now and dont want lollies so thats something.


        • yesterdays food log
          B Bacon and scrambled egg
          L Leftover shepherds pie
          S as mentioned above, had a massive sugar craving but fended off with a protein shake, 50/50 water and milk
          D Butter chicken on cauliflower rice with half a bottle of wine!

          Had all good intentions to walk the dogs when I got home, but brrrr it is just so chilly at the moment, once i walk into my nice warm house it is like, no way do i want to leave it. I really should try and go to the gym today but even the thought of going down there and having to change clothes is putting me off. I am such a baby in the winter time.

          So on my scales this morning I was 53.5kg and 21.7 BF. Now if I add on clothes and was to weigh at work that would generally add a kg so that means I'm below my goal of 55 potentially.. I will try and get up and weigh today but i think our health nurse is away this week and her office will be locked so no access to the scale. I said to someone yesterday I would like to lose a bit more so that I can actually begin to see my collarbones. I dont want to be really skinny or anything but I do carry a lot of fat around my neckline I think... in fact years ago I had this huge lump appear on the side of my neck and had it checked out only to find out it was just adipose tissue (yes thats right, FAT!) So given that was the first area to get fat, I suppose its the last to go

          bit of a restless sleep again. Awake at midnight, awake again at 3.30am. Turned the light on about 4.15 and decided to read for a bit. At 5.00am I awoke to find book on my face! Drifted off to sleep again until alarm went off at 6.50am. Have no recollection of any dreams last night, thank goodness.


          • food yesterday
            B Cheese and mushroom omelette with bacon on the side
            L Huge chicken and bacon salad (it also had some croutons in it, forgot to ask them to not put in)
            D Chicken and coriander soup (with heaps of cream) and then a bunless burger on baby spinach and capsicum, relish then melted cheese on the burger patty with bacon on the top and mushrooms on the side. Glass of sauvignon. Lots of bacon yesterday!!! Bacon with everything.

            Jumped on the scales last night (yes I am a bit obsessed with the scales right now - dont worry it will pass) was 54.7kg and 22.7 bf before I went to bed. wow thats a big jump from the morning. So this morning, (and keeping in mind using the scales at the same time and everything) I was 54kg and 22.1 kg. so in one day thats half a kg weight gain. I'm a bit fascinated by that. I'm not overly concerned just fascinated that the body can put on so much weight so quickly. I think I might put that down to all the bacon... after all bacon is rather salty so perhaps I was retaining a lot of water, or it could be that there was quite a bit of fat in my diet yesterday??? Anyway....

            I did make it to the gym yesterday! Yay for me. I seriously cannot lift anything though with this shoulder, it is getting worse no doubt about it. I tried the lat pulldown thingy and uh uh, no way, pain. Even doing a plank was making my arm sore yesterday. Better get to the specialist about it as this has now been going on too long.

            Pretty good nights sleep, first wake up was at 2.30am so that means I had a good 4.5 hrs of sleep. That initial sleep is very restful, no dreams. After that though.... when I woke up this morning I was dreaming about cheesecake with strawberry and coconut topping. I dont even like strawberries. What the?... I was also dreaming about talking to someone about checking their passport and saying mine had expired when I was in bangkok and got a real grilling by customs.... well honestly where do these mad dreams come from, my passport was fine in bangkok, and I have never been grilled by customs... and also I have nothing to be worried about as I got a new passport a couple of months ago (as it my old one was due to expire in sept this year). I am completely fascinated by my dreams lately.

            mmmm, fascinated by my weight and my dreams. I really must get a life.


            • sometimes I wonder where do the days go...

              B: I think I had bacon and fried egg but i might have had an omelette, I honestly cant recall
              L: chicken and curry soup. 2 stupid lollies after lunch, glad I managed to stop at 2 though.
              S: shared a bowl of fries while having a drink at the pub. I could taste the awful oil they used, blah, but I ate them anyway
              D: Scotch fillet steak with a portobello mushroom on top, with lovely redwine beef jus. oven roasted kumara, small amount of potato and red and yellow capsicums with rosemary. Fresh baby spinach with shaved parmesan. Yumm yum. A few vinos.

              No dreams that I recall. Weight this morning 54.1kg, and 22.1 bodyfat. This bioimpedance body fat stuff is really a load of BS but I guess it gives me something to go by. I think it makes mine quite low because there is no visible fat on my legs or butt - seriously... none!. perhaps the bioimpedance thingy doesnt go all the way up to my belly or something? Cause there's a good layer of fat there.

              Have decided to try and up my intake of vit d3 after all the reading I've been doing lately. I think I also need to think about taking some of my supplements with a bit more regularity. So a probiotic in the morning, fish oil with every meal and D3. I think I should also look into magnesium and zinc perhaps. I dont want to get carried away with a million supplements though or I'll be rattling!

              Saw the trainer from Team training (the boot camp I was going to) this morning. Told her I'd be back into it in September when the weather is better. I really must get my shoulder sorted before then as boot camp is freaking hard work.


              • fridays are just a hopeless day for me I have decided!

                B Bacon mushroom and cheese omelette (good start!P
                S work colleague made cake, would have been rude to not have any. well no it wouldnt have, but clearly I did.
                L tomato chickpea and thyme soup. I had a bread roll with it... dang
                S I ate more cake
                D left over steak from previous night on baby spinach and parmesan, with a few leftover kumara/potato/capsicum mix. Not a huge dinner by any stretch of the imagination. Tiny in fact. a few wines.

                Got up this morning and took the dogs out for a huge walk. I was in a filthy mood. The dogs went crazy when they knew we were going for a walk and probably managed to wake up the whole neighbourhood at 8am with their insane barking. and they drove me crazy walking, pulling all the way. This is not a good thing when I am in a filthy mood. cant they feel my anger generating through the lead. walked down to the local cafe and had a cup of tea and read the newspaper, all the time the dogs are crying and carrying on. seriously... give it up already. Then took a long walk home with them. anger had mostly abated by the time i got home so that was good. dont know why i was in such a moodie.

                Got home and cooked breakfast... bacon and scrambled eggs with lots of cream - i'm sure that helped ease my mood as well

                went down to the french markets today, hadnt been before... hmmm yummy stuff. lots of lovely looking pastries and croissants etc. but wont be eating any of those until New Caledonia next week, special treat but hopefully wont indulge in too much. Bought some amazing macadamia kelp and lemon sprinkle. That is going to be nice to use with fish (might stop the man using breadcrumbs!!) Got a nice bottle of reisling and boyfriend got a piece of french blue cheese as we are having friends over for lunch tomorrow. Caved and got a ciabatta loaf also to have with lunch tomorrow. Not everyone is grain free and I do confess to a weakness for a crunchy ciabatta (which will go with my thai pumpkin soup)

                so no lunch for me, am going out for dinner tonight with friends. we are going italian, but i am planning to try and stay grain free - so no pasta. Hopefully I can avoid garlic bread.... but you know my weakness by now.... actually am a little bit hungry now and dinner could be 3 -4 hrs away... hmmm better find something healthy to snack.


                • Hang in there Suse...maybe some more bacon??
                  My musings

                  The old stuff


                  • well I was very good yesterday and didnt cave to any grain. Yay for me. Had chicken breast stuffed with spinach and brie and served in a tomato-ey sauce, brocoli, some potatos - but not too many. and of course wine.

                    Today of course another matter completely
                    B scrambled eggs on a slice of toasted ciabatta
                    L friends over for lunch, so did Coq au Vin (seems to be my go to meal lately) baby carrots, brocoli and mashed kumara. Oh and thai pumpkin soup to start with a slice of crunchy warm ciabatta and a great lob of butter. Camenbert and crackers for afters.
                    Took the dogs out for a big walk down by the waterfront after everyone left.
                    wont be having dinner, definitely dont need it. Had a cuppa tea at about 4.30 but will just have water now till tomorrow.

                    I bet I'll regret all that bread later.


                    • well no I didnt really regret the bread, although I would say I was a bit gassy last night! But I think thats it on the bread front now until the holiday starts... only 5 more sleeps to go....

                      so I stuck with my fast last night and had a glass of water with lemon before bed. Got a pretty good nights sleep... first wake up about 1ish and then slept soundly till 6am. Decided to have a hot water with freshly squeezed lemon this morning rather than my normal cup of tea. Just for a change really. Breakfast at 8.30 was a protein shake with coconut cream and water (I didnt have time to make breakfast this morning cause I couldnt be bothered getting out of bed before 7am) So if we dont include the cup of tea in the late afternoon I fasted from 3 to 8.30 about 15 hrs. and if we do include the cuppa tea, then more like 13 hrs. I probably could have skipped breakfast even - I dont know that I was that hungry.

                      home weigh in was 53.5 kg and 21.7bf. pretty static there. Still havent weighed in at work yet. Maybe tomorrow morning.

                      Have just had a big ass salad, chicken, cashews and a chilli-soy dressing. Yum. probably the soy not so good (although I know they make their dressings with olive oil so thats something), but it was tasty and I ate the lot and we are talking a BIG salad (well for me anyway - I never used to eat salad willingly) I'll just knock down a couple of fish oils now to counterattack any bad stuff. And I'll drink lots of water like a good girl.


                      • So yesterday was a very good day
                        B protein shake with coconut cream
                        L big ass salad
                        S oh whoops, I forgot about this, about 5 cheese and rice crackers (thats my boyfriends fault for bringing it out)
                        D Leftover coq au vin, mashed sweet potato brocoli and baby carrots (will probably be the same again tonight I imagine, lots of leftovers) 1 glass of wine.

                        so I realised yesterday that by the time I got home I had only had one cup of tea which means I had only had 1 teaspoon of sugar all day. Thats pretty darn good for me! Ok I had another 2 cups of tea when I got home, but that is still excellent! and another thing while on that subject.... a little bit TMI probably, but normally my pee is very dark, but because I had no tea yesterday and started the day off with a hot water and lemon, my pee was a nice straw colour all day! Just an interesting thought I think.


                        • a weird day yesterday.
                          B omelette with cheese mushroom and bacon
                          L I decided to have a small protein shake at lunchtime as my boyfriend was coming in to meet me a bit later. We had time to whip into a cafe and got a chicken filo thing. I wasnt really hungry so said I'd just have a bite of his with a cup of tea. It was bloody awful, dry, and frankly I think they'd thrown the chicken in from a million miles away and missed. disappointing. After I got back to work I decided I was hungry, and had a fruit and nut chocolate bar. The nuts tasted off. Then I decided I wanted something salty. So I had a bag of potato chips (at least they were cooked in sunflower oil so more monosat than polyfat). Hmmm, then I felt like a coke... well thankfully I came to my senses and went and got a cup of tea instead.
                          D Had a nice dinner, fish which was "crumbed" in the macadamia kelp and lemon mix we bought the other day. Very nice, but perhaps overwhelmed the fish a little. had that with chips (boyfriend searched the supermarket for the healthiest ones he could find, I told him polys bad, mono's not as bad) and celery,carrot and leek.
                          After dinner I had a weird anxiety attack. I dont know what bought that on, I havent had an anxiety attack for years... I just felt like someone had placed a brick on my chest and felt odd. I ran a bath and put some essential oils in and relaxed a bit. But I put myself to bed at 8.30 and went out like a light. Feel much better today, maybe it was something I ate??? Maybe I'm just getting anxious about turning another year older in a few days.


                          • B Bacon and fried egg
                            L Pumpkin and coconut soup. Bread roll (grrr) with lashings of butter (good)
                            D finished off the leftover coq au vin. had probably a dessert spoon of mashed kumara. Brocoli and baby carrots - I love both and never tire! A few wines - probably a few too many as I didnt have the best sleep last night.

                            So I had my official weigh in at work yesterday and was thrilled to have dropped a kilo since my last proper weigh in 3 weeks ago. so I am now 54.7kg, and my goal weight was 55kg. So yes, I'm below!!! Very happy with that. Especially with new caledonia looming in 2 days which will mean plenty of eating and drinking.


                            • Big congrats, Suse! Your persistence has definitely paid off.
                              I'm a quitter...but I'm back now.


                              • thanks canarygirl... just as well I am below goal as today is my birthday and I was woken up with candlelight... on a giant chocolate birthday cake! Nice. Needless to say I have brought the cake into work with me to share with my colleagues or else I'll be putting 6kg straight back on again.

                                so yesterday was reasonable
                                B: Bacon and egg
                                L: Chicken and avocado salad, followed by a mini toblerone.. it was part of an early birthday present....
                                D: Thai - chicken satays and beef with chilli and veges, no rice. 1 glass of sauvignon. Now I was going to be alcohol free but I had to get my legs waxed before my holiday and that was happening at 8pm so I thought, this is not a good time to have no alcohol... think of it as pain relief.