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Primal Journal - Chicklittle

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  • Primal Journal - Chicklittle

    Welcome and thank you for reading my primal journal!

    I am a 25-year-old accountant/auditor working for the (Canadian) federal government. I live a quiet life with my fiance and my precious kitty, Otis. In addition to working FT, I'm currently taking an online course to complete my professional accountant designation. This takes up a LOT of my "free time", so hobbies are few and far between, although I do enjoy reading non-fiction and (sometimes) cooking.

    After graduating from university in April 2011 I immediately started my sedentary government job. I thought I was an overall healthy person, so I was shocked when the pounds started coming on almost instantaneously. At slightly under 5'2 I had weighed around 120lbs through most of university and was OK with that, although I felt it wasn't my "true" weight. After school I quickly shot up a good 7-8 pounds! I trained for about 4-6 weeks for a 5k in September 2011 and was running 3x per week. I felt proud after the race, but I couldn't believe that my weight hadn't budged, not even one pound. Needless to say, I quickly abandoned running.

    While on vacation in January 2012 I read The Primal Blueprint and was blown away with how logical and simple it was. I knew I wanted to try it, but my fiance wasn't on board until May 2012 when we started doing short HIIT sessions 3x per week and he became interested in changing his diet. We adopted the 80/20 rule and fell in love with trying new recipes and eating WAY more meat and vegetables than we thought was allowed! After about 3-4 weeks, both of us noticed the pounds coming off at a rate of about 0.5-2 per week. I made it down to 120 for my sister's wedding in July and thought I would soon plateau. Incredibly, I continued to lose another 5-7 pounds before the end of the summer! When I bought my wedding dress in August, I felt like a million bucks: stronger and healthier than ever.

    At the end of November 2012 we decided to try a round of P90X. We felt strong enough (mentally and physically) and really wanted to push ourselves. After a couple of weeks, on December 1, my fiance's 91-year-old grandfather passes away, and everything came to a grinding halt. He was the patriarch of the family and we had lived next door to him for four years. It was emotionally painful, and at the same time stressful as we knew we would have to move out of his house (we had rented the attached apartment from him) and find a place to live. We ended up buying our first house and moved in two weeks ago, and while I'm thrilled with our decision it meant months of visits, negotiations, appointments, etc. Since Grampa died, I don't think we've done one workout or stuck to primal eating more than 50/50.

    Which brings me to today. I am totally, utterly ashamed that I am back up to 120lbs. and definitely less muscle. I feel weak and tired all the time, partially due to my Diet Coke (DC) addiction (more on that later). I have no self-control when it comes to eating healthy, and my poor dietary choices leave me with zero energy or willpower to workout at the end of the day. Mostly I'm angry at myself, because I know how I COULD be feeling. I KNOW what works, and yet I'm not even trying. So I'm hoping/praying this journal will help me find other people to talk to so I can feel accountable to someone other than me, because that just doesn't seem to be enough these days.

    Talk soon,


  • #2
    Welcome CL. You did it before and you can do it again! Good luck!
    Ancestral Health Info - My blog about Primal and the general ancestral health movement. Site just remodeled using HTML5/CSS3 instead of Wordpress.

    My MDA Friday success story - Stubborn Senior's Testimonial


    • #3
      What Hedonist2 said!

      I'm also giving it my second shot after going almost completely non-primal for a couple of months, and I've just started my journal too! Good luck!


      • #4
        Thanks Hedonist2! I feel the same way, all it takes is a little kick in the butt in the form of public confessions to get things going


        • #5
          Thanks Traveller! I'll be sure to follow your journal too since we're both on our second try


          • #6
            I'm definitely new to the concept of Discussion Forums/Threads, so I hope I'm doing this right...

            We had a snowstorm last night/today, so making a lunch for work this morning did NOT happen... so there's really no point in dragging you through the details of my non-primal day. Which means this is probably a good opportunity to talk about my Diet Coke (DC) addiction.

            So yes, I am one of those people who is so addicted to Diet Coke they call it DC. Blech! But this hasn't always been the case. Growing up my parents were not big pop (yes, I'm Canadian, and it's called POP) drinkers and we NEVER EVER had any in the house. I didn't even like the taste of Coke until I was probably an adolescent. In college (3 years) I started buying Coke from the vending machines once in a while but didn't think anything of it. Even when I moved out on my own I didn't keep pop in the apartment, just bought a can at lunch or when I was out. When I started dating my now fiance (5 years ago) he switched me over to DC because he was raised on the stuff - his mom is an addict and they keep LOTS of it in the house. Although he himself wasn't addicted he said it would make me less tired etc. because I wouldn't have the sugar crash afterwards. So I switched but stuck to about 1 can a day. The only time I would buy a case would be during final exams or something as a "treat", even though it made me feel terrible. I felt I deserve to drink it - I never did drugs, smoked, or drank heavily. I ate healthy (but SAD). But I was starting to notice the unpleasant side effects I was having, and chalked it up to a caffeine problem (my whole family is highly sensitive).

            I'd say about the time I finished university and started working, my "addiction" started getting worse. I definitely think I'm an "abstainer" and not a "moderator" - which is tough because fiance is the latter and he just doesn't get it. But for me, DC represents so many things both physiological and psychological. It's my one vice, my treat, my reward for a job well done. It's my break time excuse - I don't smoke or drink coffee, so why else should I leave my desk in the morning and afternoon? It's a habit, a ritual. But most importantly, it's my way of tuning out from life. DC "allows" me to suffer through a lengthy dinner with the in-laws, or a stressful afternoon at work. It has a numbing effect on the world around me, letting me ignore my problems and live just out of focus enough to get through without having to own up to my real feelings.

            See that last sentence? That's the one that convinced me I have an addiction. That and the extensive research on aspartame/other artificial sweeteners, as well as the 10+ other bloggers/authors I've read who have admitted to their own struggles. So although this might look like an exaggeration to some people (or even an insult to "real" addicts), I don't care. I consider myself a strong, educated, logical woman, and this problem defies all three of these qualities. I've tried to quit numerous times and read extensively on the subject, so I'm still undecided on how I'm going to ever truly kick this - but if you've done it (or something similar) I would very much like to hear about your experience!

            Bye for now,