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RitaRose Returns

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  • RitaRose Returns

    Okay, so I bailed for a while and now I'm back. I just wasn't in the right place head-wise to be here. I think the concussions did some damage to my frontal lobe (actually, I know they did - saw the scar tissue on the MRI) so my impulse control wasn't what it should be. Every time I came on here, I ended up feeling like crap and like a fraud because I had little to no control over what I was eating. Low impulse control and feeling like crap don't make for a good diet.

    Now I'm about 40 pounds heavier than I was before the concussions, and it's not pretty. I don't carry weight well. I think part of the problem is that I have trouble telling myself "no" anymore (though it is getting better) and the other part may be that I've possibly damaged my pituitary, which screws me over from both sides of the equation.

    I know my brain is healing. It has been almost 2 years since the last concussion, and I'm markedly better. I still stress when I'm in crowded, closed in situations like Costco, but it's not the "I have to get out NOW!" feeling I used to have. I am a lot less probe to feeling agitated by the smallest thing.

    I feel like I can control what I eat better, though I'm definitely making some changes to how I do Primal. I'm not even thinking about being strict. Doesn't work for me. In my mind, if I can't have any of the forbidden foods, I'm going to have ALL of them, and keep eating them for months. And that doesn't work for me. I've learned a lot of things may be optimal for your body, but that doesn't mean they're good for your head. And that's important too.

    My version of Primal will be no gluten, no artificial crap. I'll keep junk oils to a minimum, but when I eat out, I'm not going to stress over what they're using. It will almost always be soybean, and I can't change that. I'll focus on eating nuts sometimes, making meat and eggs the base for my meals, lot of veggies, a piece or two of fruit a day. A little milk and cheese but not a lot. A teaspoon of coconut oil every day because I think it really does help with my brain health.

    I think going VLC (or even anything fairly low) does not work for me. It makes me obsess over sweet stuff, and that's counterproductive. If I start looking around for something sweet, it's better if I just have a small amount of pure maple syrup or a Lara bar or something than sitting around trying to convince myself I shouldn't have it for the next 5 hours. I'm not talking about having lots of carbs at all, just dealing with a craving and getting it over with.

    I'm also not weighing myself often. I used to every morning, and it's not good to start out each day with a disappointment. Maybe once a week, if that. Maybe never.

    I've tried to go back to Primal quite a few times and it never lasted more than a day or two. Why do I think this time will be different? Just a different attitude. I can tell. I'm not pressuring myself at all.

    Anyway, the bad news is that the layoff I talked about eventually happened. I've been out of work for about 6 months now. The good news is that a lot of the seeds I've sown over the past months are starting to sprout. I'm suddenly getting a lot of them wanting to interview or test me, and one even fought with their HR department to bend the rules and bring me on board, but HR wouldn't bend. And even if no one hires me, I've got plans for my own business starting in February, so I'm good either way.
    Last edited by RitaRose; 12-09-2013, 04:36 PM.

  • #2
    YAY!! I have missed you. Glad you are back!
    Of all the paths you take in life, make sure a few of them are dirt.


    • #3
      Welcome back, Rita. So sorry to hear of your troubles.

      It's good that you're not pressuring yourself. Do your best, recognizing that it might not be the ideal for now. No need to go for VLC; imo, it's not necessarily desirable. I'd only recommend staying away from bad oils and, to the extent you can, wheat. Yeah, 80/20 is considered the minimum goal (and a lot of folks advocate 100/0) but get there when you're able to. Meanwhile, stressing yourself is counterproductive; that includes the scales: please stay away from them.

      ok, that's the end of the unsolicited advice. Take care and please let us all know how you're doing.
      Live your life and love your life. It's the only one you get.


      • #4
        I am so glad to see you back here. You were one of the first people to make me feel welcome, and fortunately, I also always liked your posts.

        I hope you'll accept a *hug* for your return. I'll be cheering on your efforts.
        "Right is right, even if no one is doing it; wrong is wrong, even if everyone is doing it." - St. Augustine


        Who says back fat is a bad thing? Maybe on a hairy guy at the beach, but not on a crab.


        • #5
          Thanks for the wonderful replies and advice, guys - and yes, I'm currently accepting virtual hugs!