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  • #46
    Originally posted by Westly View Post
    I think we've got a lot of differences that just can't be beaten.

    She's very CW, I'm really alternative. She knows certain food choices make her sick, but she just doesn't care. She'd rather eat the pizza that makes her so sick. Also, we have very different work ethics. As in, I go crazy without a job outside the home that's bringing in money to live, and she's perfectly happy expecting me to pay for everything, and blaming the fact the house is a mess on me 'making things intentionally difficult' (AKA I don't do EVERYTHING but put my laundry in the washer, IE pick it all up, put it in the basket, take it to the laundry room, when it's finished, I don't take it back to my room fold it, and put it away, for example) and then I have to "help" her do things like make her CW dinner...then make my own dinner...

    We HAVE talked about this, and she says she's looking for work, but...It seriously doesn't take nine months to get a McJob in this area. She refuses to learn to drive, claiming anxiety, and she also refuses to walk to the bus to look for work down near the local mall, and I know that's hurting her job prospects, but... argh, whatever.

    Anyway...I've got an ultimatum that I've given her, and we've been growing apart i the past month or so, probably because I'm not enabling her as much as I used to. I'm keeping up my end of the deal, I'm not mentioning the job, but sofar I have yet to see her keeping up with her end. (She claims that she doesn't like people to watch her work, and it's humiliating to put in all these applications and not get a call back, but...y'know, if she would just listen to me, I'm sure we could have her a job soon...and at least I'd feel better that she's DOING something...)

    Ah I see myself alone for the rest of my life after this. And y'know, I'm cool with that.

    I guess there's just challenges that we all must endure...
    Is the sex good?
    In all of the universe there is only one person with your exact charateristics. Just like there is only one person with everybody else's characteristics. Effectively, your uniqueness makes you pretty average.


    • #47
      alex, i know this is hard to believe, but one day you'll discover that sometimes good sex can't cover douchey behaviors

      i know, the knowledge hurts, just let it sink in while i ready the neosporin
      yeah you are

      Baby if you time travel back far enough you can avoid that work because the dust won't be there. You're too pretty to be working that hard.


      • #48
        Another thing to consider is that the more time you put into a failing relationship is the longer it will be before you can get into a good one. I'm sad to say it, but you are enabling her to be a cripple to herself. Do you think she would allow all these "phobias" if she were starving or out on the street? She needs to suck it up and get out there. She may discover that she's really good at and enjoys something and since when is it embarrassing to have someone see you work? Sad but it sounds like you actually may be in each others way here.


        • #49
          You know what, once you get that negative energy out of your life, good things will happen. I can speak from experience

          Keep up the positive progress! Howl at the moon!


          • #50
            Originally posted by magnolia1973 View Post
            Here's a thought.... YOU COOK.

            Cook and shop for your own ass. My husband eats ice cream and bread. I don't. If I can ignore him, you can ignore her.
            my info:

            If you can't tell the truth about yourself, you can't tell it about other people --- Virginia Woolf

            My journal


            • #51
              JMO~ I think you need to pack her up and send her back to her mommy so she can finish growing up. She is acting like a spoiled child~ you know you deserve better than that!


              • #52
                I agree - she sounds incredibly immature. But she also matches the description to a tee of a family acquaintance who was physically abused as a child. Has your GF gone through any childhood trauma? It may explain her behaviour. She might be better off seeking therapy.

                If this is not the case, however, yeah, she's beyond ridiculous.


                • #53
                  You don't have a girlfriend, you've picked up a leech...a malignant external tumor. You should marry her now! That way she can take hurry up and take most of your shit, screw your friends and some random guys, kick you out of your own house, then find some new sucker to make miserable while you still pay her bills and yours. You'll still be miserable as hell but at least you'll be relieved to not have her around anymore and maybe you'll learn something.

                  Or you could just remove the tumor, take the red pill, and move on with your life.


                  • #54

                    Holy crap, there are people with mental disabilities that have jobs, use public transportation, can clean and can cook a meal. Very few people are that helpless that they require assistance.

                    None of us are perfect, but truly, she sounds like a leach. It has nothing to do with dietary choices. She sounds like a lazy person. Let her go. She will drag you down. Find someone your equal.

                    Check out my blog. Hope to share lots of great recipes and ideas!


                    • #55
                      Hi Westly,

                      Yay! I hope it helps! I probably need to reread it as well, some of it I do pretty well with... but other stuff is a bit more of a challenge to apply!

                      Good luck, I bet we'll be seeing a success story out of you in the not too distant future


                      • #56
                        Originally posted by Westly View Post
                        Hi there again all!

                        Yeah, I support her 100%. The arrangement was supposed to be that she takes care of the house and cooks while she looks for work, and I bring home the Applewood smoked bacon (The only kind she'll eat...). Unfortunately, it's been months and months now, and while she does cook (Sometimes) she doesn't really take care of the house. I'm stuck taking care of all of my own things (Laundry, some cooking, cleaning) while she hangs out online a whole lot.

                        Anyway, she wants Chinese tonight, and I'm going to have trout. Because rainbow trout beats crap fast food Chinese any day!

                        I think I'm going to take some pictures, and show it off on my blog as well. Thanks for taking a look at it. It helps to be reminded that I was VERY excited about the things I was doing for myself, and to be excited for it once again. ^_^

                        Two What goes with trout? I've always been bad about sides!!
                        "I've decided to put on my big wolf panties..." Love it! I needed a laugh. For those who don't get it, I just went to his blog.
                        Age 48
                        Start date: 7-5-12
                        GOAL: to live to be a healthy and active 100

                        "In health there is freedom. Health is the first of all liberties."
                        Henri Frederic Amiel


                        • #57
                          Hey all!

                          We had another epic fight on Monday, and I've started taking more external facing steps on getting help through this. I've signed up for a counselor, just waiting for them to get back to me on my appointment, and I've also made an appointment to talk with an abuse specialist. We're playing phone tag at the moment, but...I think shit's getting real. I'm getting my act together, and gears are beginning to turn.

                          You'll also all be happy to know that I'm already 70%/30% primal, and working very hard on getting that other 30% into gear! I've also started walking more, have asked around at the office to see if anyone else would like to begin a lunchtime walking club, and have started doing the step 1 of Convict conditioning again.

                          All of those improvements are aimed towards getting my self esteem back, as well as getting me into a more emotionally comfortable place. Step two will be taking my life back. After that...we'll see about conquering the world.

                          I really just have to say, thanks for all of your support and the ears and advice you're all lending. If you've ever been in a similar situation, you know that you can start doubting yourself, and start feeling "Well, maybe I am the abusive one" but having a place to ask others "Is this normal?" is so very, very important.

                          So, thank you all. ^_^

                          Keep howlin'
                          Down from 275 to 250!
                          Werewolf Primal Living Blog -
                          Some fact, a lot of fiction! Keep track of my progress there!


                          • #58
                            Double high fives
                            yeah you are

                            Baby if you time travel back far enough you can avoid that work because the dust won't be there. You're too pretty to be working that hard.


                            • #59
                              Westly, Good for you! I am happy for you that you are taking steps to take your life back. It won't be easy, but you can do it!!!


                              • #60
                                yay you!