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  • What is wrong with me

    I am sick and tired of feeling like crap. Yet it is entirely my fault that I feel the way I do. I don't have any energy, I barely sleep, and I just want to lie around and do nothing. At the end of each day though, as I lay in bed unable to sleep, I wish to do so much more. I am disappointed in myself because I am 26 years old and haven't accomplished much of anything. I understand how to fix most of my problems , but why don't I do anything about it? I have realized that like most people, my mind races at night and reflects back on the previous day, month or year. It is during this time where I find great motivation to change; to become a better person and strive to live a more fulfilling life. All of this though, seems to fade upon waking the next morning and the day that follows is just filled with a want for instant gratification.

    I have felt that the way I eat ties into most of the problems in my life. I start the day off by craving something not good for me, but absolutely delicious. An instant gratifier that sends pleasant signals to my brain which then releases pleasant chemicals such as Dopamine. This lasts for a good fifteen minutes followed by regret and queasiness. I lie around for hours until the sick feeling in my body disappears, occupying my time playing video games or watching movies. I do this because I don't feel like moving around because my body feels like crap. Movies and video games are just another easy gratification technique that my brain has adopted, pleasuring my senses. When I get hungry again, I end up eating the same crap that I ate hours ago, only focusing on the short lived high I will experience and not the painful hours afterwards. It's like my mind blocks out all the negative associations with bad food, and only focuses on the good ones. My diet plagues me with anxiety, depression, insomnia from restless legs, and full blown (race to the E.R I think that I'm dying) panic attacks. So why do I continue to do it, day after day, when I know the solution to eat right. Is my willpower and motivation that weak? Does eating terribly weaken my motivation and willpower even more? It seems like it is just a never ending vicious cycle. What is wrong with my brain?
    Last edited by tbird907; 01-12-2015, 03:45 AM.

  • #2
    Don't be too hard on yourself. Its a vicious cycle - the worse you look after yourself the worse you feel, and usually that means you get even worse at looking after yourself. This is especially true when it comes to eating because it's a lot easier to eat a bunch of sugar to give yourself a boost than to eat the stuff you know is good for you.

    If I was you, I would set really small goals and try to change one thing at a time. I don't know how you eat now, but try slowly changing out items that you know aren't helping you. If you have a bunch of junk food in the cupboard, give it away or throw it out if you can. At the very least, use it up but don't re-buy it.

    Start filling your house with lots of really easy healthy foods. The good news about primal is you may well discover that what is considered healthy is a lot tastier than you may think. This isn't about deprivation and eating tasteless "healthfoods". Have a good read of the main website and focus on the primal foods that you really enjoy. Maybe you love eggs? Steak? Avocado? Spinach with garlic and butter? Eat as much of the primal foods you like as you need to in the beginning. If you overeat on them it's better than overeating junk food. In the future you may end up on 2 or 3 meals a day, but for now eat a healthy snack or two if you need to. Focus on changing the quality first and then you can adjust quantity as necessary.

    You may well benefit from using marks carb curve to help regulate blood sugar, but ease into it slowly. For noe just focus on getting rid of sugar and grains. Eat fruit and starchy veg for your carbs. As time goes on you can adjust how much of these you eat. Don't try to go for ketosis or anything extreme. If you switched out eating 2 chocolate bars a day for say 2 bananas, you'd be making a hugely beneficial change! Focus on those small victories.

    In terms of other beneficial stuff, again start small. Tell yourself you're going to get outside for 10 minutes. Use that time to go for a walk. Before you know it, that 10 minutes will be up! The next day, why not try 15 minutes?

    For sleep, try turning off your TV and your computer 15 minutes earlier tonight. Use that time to read a book or do a bit of meditation before bed. Every night bring turn off time a bit earlier, and not only that but start going to sleep a bit earlier.

    Making positive changes can be really hard. I'm sure that on some level it must seem easier to you to keep going as you are now. But if you focus in making better choices every day, you can improve things without it being too hard. The good news is you've found a really positive community of people and I'm sure loads of people are going to come along with words of encouragement and advice. Maybe you'd like to start a journal to track the changes you are making? I think that you'll find that as you start to eat better, you'll want to keep eating better and then you'll want to move more and you'll find it easier to sleep better. Keep trying and keep making those little changes every day.

    Comment


    • #3
      The journey to feeling better starts with your first step, but it is up to you to take that step. MuchLove has some good ideas for you to try in making the first steps.
      You aren't going to improve your situation until you move off "top dead center." Set some initial, attainable objectives and make 'em happen.
      Finally have given up on MDA Forum.
      My friends, I'll see ya at primalforums.com where I'm user #4, and we do have a moderator.

      Comment


      • #4
        Originally posted by MuchLove View Post
        Have a good read of the main website and focus on the primal foods that you really enjoy. Maybe you love eggs? Steak? Avocado? Spinach with garlic and butter?
        x2
        I never actually told myself "no more ___", I just kept adding better staples until they displaced the old stuff. Water, salt, and protein tend to be the first appetite triggers. Of course a sandwich/chips/soda combo scratches the itch so devote some space to no-prep solutions (boiled eggs, fruit, pickles).

        Healthy routines shouldn't require constant willpower but they may require some initial willpower to establish positive memories. Commit to a few weeks of morning/midday walks and earlier bedtime, even if it feels like going through the motions. Feeling lazy and hungry is often a soothing ritual in response to a stressor/irritant which may lessen as the other habits solidify.
        37//6'3"/185

        My peculiar nutrition glossary and shopping list

        Comment


        • #5
          Thanks for all the good advice. Just writing my problems down for the first time and re-reading it along with your posts has helped me make it almost through day one.

          Comment


          • #6
            The journey to feeling better starts with your first step, but it is up to you to take that step.

            Comment


            • #7
              Originally posted by tbird907 View Post
              ... I have felt that the way I eat ties into most of the problems in my life. I start the day off by craving something not good for me, but absolutely delicious. An instant gratifier that sends pleasant signals to my brain which then releases pleasant chemicals such as Dopamine. ...

              What is wrong with my brain?
              So if we turn those two quotes I've pulled out round the other way, your ownb answer to the question is that you think you have neurotransmitter imbalances. I guess that's entirely possible. I'm not qualified to comment on that. There's certainly a lot of material out there on that - see for example:

              Dr. Dan Kalish on Neurotransmitters and Amino Acids

              I'll stick with simple advice that would be likely to benefit anyone. You'll likely get benefit from a low-carb paleo diet. In fact, that seems to be pretty much true for just about any physical, mental or emotional problem. People like Robb Wolf have loads of testamonials on this, which if it's not exactly lab data is still compelling and significant. I'd buy a copy of "The Primal Blueprint" or Robb Wolf's book - and there are many other good ones out there. You can probably get a secondhand copy of Mike Eades Protein Power Lifeplan for next to nothing.

              And get some exercise. I'd suggest the average human wants to be walking for at least 40 minutes most days. That would be nothing compared to what we'd have got in our evolutionary past. Anything else you can put on top would be good. Exercise has been shown to be just about the most effective traetment for depression for exmaple. And it's not just that you're positively speaking breathing more deeply and so oxengenating better, and negatively speaking getting out of cramped sitting positions. There seem to be deep connections between movement as such and brain health.

              Movement and Learning

              Learning Through Movement and Music: How Exercise Benefits the Brain

              There are some interesting disciplines with sets of movement patterns that are said to benefit specific problems. Jaimen McMillan has a lot of stuff in this area. See for example:

              http://www.amazon.co.uk/Fourfold-Pat...s=thomas+cowan

              Spacial Dynamics: What Is Spacial Dynamics

              Or Frank Forenich of Exuberant Animal has a "short form" that might be worth looking into:




              I can't answer the question "What's wrong with me?" but I can say that I think a low-carb paleo diet combined with some exercise is going to benefit most people.

              Comment


              • #8
                Originally posted by tbird907 View Post
                I am sick and tired of feeling like crap. Yet it is entirely my fault that I feel the way I do. I don't have any energy, I barely sleep, and I just want to lie around and do nothing. At the end of each day though, as I lay in bed unable to sleep, I wish to do so much more. I am disappointed in myself because I am 26 years old and haven't accomplished much of anything. I understand how to fix most of my problems , but why don't I do anything about it? I have realized that like most people, my mind races at night and reflects back on the previous day, month or year. It is during this time where I find great motivation to change; to become a better person and strive to live a more fulfilling life. All of this though, seems to fade upon waking the next morning and the day that follows is just filled with a want for instant gratification.

                I have felt that the way I eat ties into most of the problems in my life. I start the day off by craving something not good for me, but absolutely delicious. An instant gratifier that sends pleasant signals to my brain which then releases pleasant chemicals such as Dopamine. This lasts for a good fifteen minutes followed by regret and queasiness. I lie around for hours until the sick feeling in my body disappears, occupying my time playing video games or watching movies. I do this because I don't feel like moving around because my body feels like crap. Movies and video games are just another easy gratification technique that my brain has adopted, pleasuring my senses. When I get hungry again, I end up eating the same crap that I ate hours ago, only focusing on the short lived high I will experience and not the painful hours afterwards. It's like my mind blocks out all the negative associations with bad food, and only focuses on the good ones. My diet plagues me with anxiety, depression, insomnia from restless legs, and full blown (race to the E.R I think that I'm dying) panic attacks. So why do I continue to do it, day after day, when I know the solution to eat right. Is my willpower and motivation that weak? Does eating terribly weaken my motivation and willpower even more? It seems like it is just a never ending vicious cycle. What is wrong with my brain?
                Nothing is wrong with you or your brain. You just have some work to do on yourself. It's a process and it is going to take some time. For starters, this helped me a lot (don't know if you are familiar with it or not):

                Inner child healing - How to begin to find freedom from the past

                Just read for a bit. Maybe it strikes a cord with you, maybe not. It's worth a shot.

                Comment


                • #9
                  First off, no, your will power is not that weak, but your mind, brain, and sugar/food are that strong.
                  I feel for you, for you are stuck in a very deep, dark world where there are no good days.

                  I have definitely been there myself, so I empathize with you.
                  Your body is just like a living plant. It requires the right amounts of sunshine, water, nutrients, and air.
                  When it does not get what it needs, it wilts and ultimately dies.

                  Your body is dehydrated and hurting. Your cells are deficient in all the vitamins and minerals they need to run right.

                  You have to break the cycle of sugar, because that will be endless and results in insulin sensitivity and diabetes. You can still have a sweet tooth and have satisfying foods, but they need to be whole.
                  You need to find cleaner foods that still satisfy your craving for something sweet in the morning or snacky at night.

                  Exercise will be a part of you being well again, but we have to get you back on track mentally first. If you feel like you could take a walk around the block that's awesome, but if you feel there's no way or it would be forced don't worry about it yet.

                  To help in the meantime, you should use some herbs and supplements.
                  Natural Calm (Magnesium) is essential for your anxiety, depression, and restless legs. Take it in the evening when you're ready to relax and it will help you go to bed and help your legs. If you feel anxious during the day you can use it as well, but take a smaller dose of it as it can make you feel tired.

                  Lemon Balm (Melissa) is a great herb for anxiety, depression, and sleep. It can be taken whenever you feel anxiety coming on, or at night to help relax and sleep.

                  Taking a good Krill Oil (Omega 3) will be essential for your depression and inflammation in your body.
                  If you feel depression is a big issue you could always try St Johns Wort or 5-HTP as well.
                  You need some good strong support and guidance, but understand you are simply a wilted plant that needs the right amounts of nutrients to be strong again. You are not destined to be miserable like you are now, you can change this! Rinse Clean and you will feel GOOD again! brendan@rinseclean.org
                  Last edited by RinseClean; 01-14-2015, 02:25 PM.
                  Amber Riley, RN, MSN, NP-C
                  Brendan Riley, Certified Nutrition Coach
                  Rinse Clean - Be Heard. Be Healthy. Be You.
                  www.rinseclean.org/blog

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    I completely understand how you feel and I wish I could offer you some helpful advice. I'm currently doing well but its a struggle every single waking minute. Just know you aren't alone.

                    Sent from my Nexus 4 using Marks Daily Apple Forum mobile app

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      I know how you feel, I have been going through the same thing for the last year.
                      I started going Primal in September 2013 and fell off the wagon in 2014... Honestly I know how it is to feel good and now due to my own decisions I feel like shit again... however for everybody in the same position it starts with a decision.
                      Do you really want to feel good again or do you just want to eat that delicious muffin?
                      Do you really want to live long enough to have kids or do you just want to give into the sugar craving?
                      Do you really want to have fun in life or do you want to play that game because you have no other idea of what to do?

                      Just a few questions you could ask yourself and start doing it every day. Question everything you do. In the beginning you'll notice that most of the time the question will be in favor of the bad thing but over time you will feel stupid and go for the healthier option.

                      Don't be too hard on yourself and demand change immediately. You had 26 years of destroying your body, it doesn't turn healthy in a day now. Like "Muchlove" suggested start with small changes.
                      Drink water or tea instead of soda, read a book instead of playing games, or even better pick up a fun hobby (I started making clothes but you can do any handy work), go read that book out in the sun. even in the middle of winter wrap yourself in a blanket and go outside.
                      When you are craving sweet things allow yourself something sweet, like dark chocolate, fruits or nuts.

                      To your question to what is wrong with your brain? You are addicted to the sugar and the grains!!!
                      Read Mark's book or Wheat belly and you will understand what the grains are doing to your brain and hormones. It will teach you what is happening and why making the right choices is so damn hard.

                      just try to make 1 more good choice each day and you will get there
                      My story, My thought....

                      It's all about trying to stay healthy!!!!

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