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Funny CW moments

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  • "You know, if you're trying to lose weight, you shouldn't eat apples at night because they turn into sugar in your body."

    And then, at physical therapy, one of the overweight patients on the treadmill, "I need to burn the extra calories I didn't get on Monday. Just ten more calories, ten more *runs faster* Yes! Got them."
    "The mountains are calling and I must go."
    --John Muir

    "I don't know what's wrong with me, but I love this shit."
    --Tommy Caldwell

    ‎"Think like a geek. Eat like a hunter. Train like a fighter. Look like a model. Live beyond."


    • Originally posted by Clymb View Post
      "Just ten more calories, ten more *runs faster* Yes! Got them."
      This is where I facepalmed in my mind. It's just going to take time and more voices to educate everyone else.


      • OK! The first one would be CW, or vegetarianism anyway. My sister and her family are here to stay with us and I always ask what the stuff they're eating is made of, on the off chance that I can eat it. Today she was feeding her son something that looked like a sausage. I wasn't even going to ask because I knew but she brought it up first. The conversation went something like this.

        Her: It's soy, you don't want it.

        Me: I'd guessed. Did you know soy started as an industrial byproduct?

        Her: Did you know that meat started as a baby cow?

        Me: Yes. That's why I love it so much.

        And another exchange that was more congenial...

        Me: *looking at the ingredients on a bottle of Coffee Mate* Hydrogenated canola oil... ugh, trans fats...

        Her: I know! It's dads, I don't know why he won't bring skim milk camping. We should just throw it out.

        Me: ...We should! *tosses it in the trash* If he asks where it is we don't know.

        Her: Sure thing.

        We're on the same page about trans fats. XD
        Out of context quote for the day:

        Clearly Gorbag is so awesome he should be cloned, reproducing in the normal manner would only dilute his awesomeness. - Urban Forager


        • Not completely a CW moment, but definitely a Primal win. Getting an ultrasound done today (for various reasons), Technician: "No wonder you said you can feel everything in there. You are skinnier than just about every person I see come through."

          Me: "Well I lost about thirty pounds two years ago."

          Technician: "Oh? How? Exercising your brains out?"

          Me: "Nope. Eating well."

          Technician: "Even better!" Good medical pros know that abs are made in the kitchen.
          ~All luck is earned in the end.~


          • Ya... because the bloating is caused by the 4oz of meat you ate and not the basket of bread and bowl of pasta, or the 20 teaspoons of salt in a single meal.

            Attached Files


            • Take it from a recovering binge eater - you can eat an ENTIRE PINEAPPLE and no meat at all, and the pineapple can *make* you bloated. (Yes, it has enzymes, yes, enzymes are important, no, you shouldn't eat a whole pineapple, no, pineapples aren't magic.)
              Last edited by MamaGrok; 08-08-2013, 02:30 PM.
              5'4" 39yo mother to five sweeties & married to their AMAZING DaddyGrok
              Current Weight: 175lb__________________________________Goal: 135lb
              Deadlift: 240lb________________________________________Back Squat: 165lb
              Bench: 130lb__________________________________________Pre ss: 85lb
              ***Winning a 20-year war against binge eating disorder***


              • When I was a kid, I blew out my ankle. To help with the swelling, the doctor suggested pineapple juice. I drank a lot of canned pineapple juice, none of which had any active enzyme in it after processing.

                Though it's not like we had fresh, ripe pinapples available back then.


                • When my brother sees me making my first meal at 1PM

                  Me: Can you make the phone call? You guys have already eaten like three times today and I haven’t eaten yet.
                  Him: That’s bad. It’s not good to eat breakfast so late.
                  Me: Why is it bad?
                  Him: Because eating later stores more cholesterol.
                  Me: How does it store more cholesterol?
                  Him: I don’t know. But I read it. I read it in an article.
                  Me: So you think that the cholesterol your liver secretes is the same cholesterol that you eat?
                  Him: [no answer]
                  Me: So, why is cholesterol a bad thing?
                  Him: It’s bad for your heart, it clogs your arteries. It’s important to eat breakfast early so that you have energy, otherwise your body won’t have any energy to do what it needs to do.
                  Me: So then what’s the point of glycogen being stored and body fat being stored? What’s the point of those energy reserves if your body can’t use it for energy when you don’t eat breakfast in the morning. [burst out laughing]

                  Him: [dumbfounded look on his face] Uhhhh…


                  • All Right!! I have read this WHOLE thread.... What a Hoot!! Thanks for all the laughs and great info on being Primal. I think I have learned as much on this thread as I did reading a lot of the beginner's articles in this forum.

                    I am truly inspired by all of you and I am seeing results in the past 2-1/2 weeks.

                    Thanks You all!! And Grok on!!


                    • I was browsing the Container Store's website just now, and under the "College" section there listed some tips on how to survive early morning classes. One of the tips:

                      Don’t Skip Breakfast (and I'm thinking, "Oh my god, not eating as soon as you wake up, THE HORROR...")
                      Caffeinated drinks can help, but the best way to maintain your energy level is by fueling up with a quick cereal bar, yogurt or banana. Even a cold slice of pizza will help get you going and is far better than nothing. Best of all, these foods can be eaten on the go!

                      ARE YOU SERIOUS?! "Even a cold slice of far better than nothing"?! My jaw literally dropped. Well, they did get one thing right -- it will send the person "going," i.e., to the bathroom. If I were to resort to such CW-laced antics I'd be keeling over the toilet in pain.


                      • Today at work,
                        co-worker: Is it time for lunch yet? I'm starving
                        me: didn't you have something to eat?
                        co-worker: yeah that granola bar
                        me: oh......
                        You are an animal on this planet and the rules of engagement are non negotiable.


                        • A couple of times I've had people at my deck as we work through various problems, and working right through lunch while they get hungry is kinda funny.

                          My somewhat disingenuous response: Food is for the weak.
                          Disclaimer: I eat 'meat and vegetables' ala Primal, although I don't agree with the carb curve. I like Perfect Health Diet and WAPF Lactofermentation a lot.

                          Griff's cholesterol primer
                          5,000 Cal Fat <> 5,000 Cal Carbs
                          Winterbike: What I eat every day is what other people eat to treat themselves.
                          TQP: I find for me that nutrition is much more important than what I do in the gym.
                          bloodorchid is always right


                          • My Aunt went to the nursing home after my Uncle died. She had severe Alzheimers and it killed me to see my formerly College/high school English professor brought so low.

                            Knowing that it was preventable: PressTV - High blood sugar levels raise Alzheimer's risk

                            She had a bowl of home made oatmeal almost every day of her life.

                            It makes me weep.

                            I tell people that ("skinny fat") some people react to sugar differently than others. I ask them "What are the symptoms of Arsenic poisoning? (I'm an EMT)" Then I tell them that the reactions to ARsenic, like the reactions to sugar differ in people because people all react differently. Hope that this will change people's minds (no pun intended). Now, if I could just show people that the simple starch in bread is the same as the sugar in soda...
                            The eyes of all hope in thee, O Lord: and thou givest them meat in due season.
                            Psalms 144:15

                            Annie Sires

                            Freedom consists not in doing what we like, but in having the right to do what we ought.
                            Pope John Paul II


                            • Gracious acceptance of baked goods fail.

                              A nice old man client brought cookies including gingerbread men and came around to our desks and I had to take one. I took the gingerbread man because it was untempting and can go feed my husband or in the trash later. I said "Thanks, I love to eat men".

                              So very awkward.

                              Check out my blog. Hope to share lots of great recipes and ideas!


                              • Originally posted by magnolia1973 View Post
                                Gracious acceptance of baked goods fail.

                                A nice old man client brought cookies including gingerbread men and came around to our desks and I had to take one. I took the gingerbread man because it was untempting and can go feed my husband or in the trash later. I said "Thanks, I love to eat men".

                                So very awkward.
                                Probably made his day. Did he respond with "No, not the gum drop buttons!"